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Articles

Note from Sri Sivapremanandaji:  All these articles are written by our srividya sadhaks with an intention to share and inspire to each other in the journey of Self-Realization with the grace of Divine mother. I am thankful to all sadhaks for sharing their experiences.

The Magic of Sri Vidya Sadhana

by Dr.Niranjan (USA)

Sri Matre Namah

It is with great humility and gratitude that I share my experiences with the practice of Sri Vidya as taught by Guruji Sivapremanandaji. All the various paths I have followed over the years have culminated in the river of Sadguru Thirumoolar’s Sri Vidya lineage. I don’t think it is an accident that we come across these teachings. It is a great blessing and and precious gift. It becomes a brief accidental encounter only if we don’t practice it with sincerity and humility. Another chance may never come or even if it does, we may not recognize its value. Grace is all I can think of when I must say how it happens. Just as one does not find diamonds by chance, but only through persistent effort at digging underground, these sacred teachings become available to us when we start digging within. Without that initial effort and a deep desire, there isn’t space for grace to descend. Our free will is the only tool that we have that helps us look within. Without divine grace these teachings or any teaching will be like a diamond displayed in a museum. We cannot hold and experience them as our own. I have been practicing this sadhana for a few months and grace has gushed forth in torrents. A unique aspect of that grace is that it makes me feel as welcome as one would feel when visiting one’s own mother after a long separation.

This grace is so welcoming and overpowering that in its midst, ego consciousness becomes as rare as snow in a hot desert. It happens automatically and it feels very natural. There is no question of “I did it”. Grace wipes out the “I did” and only “it” remains. Like a powerful wind that takes down dry twigs and branches but leaves strong and healthy branches intact, these teachings very quickly strip away old conditioning of the mind and unravels our true self. It trims the tree of the mind and makes it a fruit bearing tree, the fruits being our noble soul qualities that others can enjoy. Just as each plant, shrub or tree must be well maintained in order for a garden to be beautiful, the world will similarly be a beautiful place that generations to come can enjoy, if each one strives to make one’s innate soul qualities one’s outer nature.

Just like so many others, I have been a seeker for as far as I can remember. We all share one deep aspiration, seeking happiness. Happiness that springs forth from our inner self is an unending reservoir and Sri Vidya is a definite way to unearth that source hidden within ourselves. Just as one cannot see the sea where a river empties into, by standing at its source on a mountaintop, we cannot see the “sea of higher consciousness” with us when we stand on the mountaintop of our ego. Streams of false identification roll down into the sea of the senses, which are treacherous waters.

Sri Vidya teachings imparted by Guruji Sivapremanandaji create the right grooves for our individual consciousness to flow towards the higher universal consciousness. As individuals, we have full “ownership rights” over our mind. No one can enter that space. But if we are willing to give up some of its contents, make space and invite the hand of divinity to enter with our love and devotion, a beautiful space will be carved within us. This would then serve as a very welcoming launching pad for our own inner discovery. Like a radar beam that touches an object and is reflected, Gurujis teachings touch the core of our being and they reflect back as bliss. Using that as a guiding instrument, we can reach that source and be one with it.

I am very grateful for having found these teachings at this stage in my life. I would say I am at the crossroads of life. Having ascended the material ladder to a peak that I am personally satisfied with, there is no other way but a slow descent into impermanence or death that we all must succumb to. At these crossroads, I like all others have a choice of following the body towards its destination or taking a less trodden path to higher elevations of consciousness where the seeds of immortality are to be found. These sacred teachings come to us as seeds, the grace of Guruji seeds our worldly consciousness with love and power and if water those seeds with love, dedication, humility and surrender then a giant evergreen tree of “universal consciousness” will surely emerge. This is Siddhar Thirumoolar’s promise to us.

Good Disciple follows Guru like a Shadow

O! disciple true!

In virtue, truth, compassion, discrimination and love

You pursue the Holy Feet of Guru true

Constant as unto a shadow;

You then gain the nectar of Finite Jnana in its crystal clarity,

And witness the many miracles it brings in train.

Thirumandiram (1703) by Siddhar Thirumoolar

Everyone has a personal journey that is unique to the individual. Just as white light is composed of all colors, universal consciousness shines on all of us equally. Colors are perceived when objects absorb certain wavelengths of visible light while reflecting others. Similarly, everyone is the recipient of the same grace, but due to our individual conditioning at the level of the mind, we cannot see grace in its pure light. Each one’s experience is unique. Grace is impartial, our perception of it may not be. Just as a skilled sailor who uses the wind to his advantage, we should all be ready and take full opportunity when we recognize the descent of grace in any form. We all take our individual paths back to our true self.

I would like to present my journey to the teachings of Sri Vidya as taught by Guruji Sivapremanandaji. I truly feel like I have come home. I have searched for many years, tried many paths but there was something missing. Not on part of the teachings or the paths I had tried but there was an deep seated disconnect and I could not tap in completely. I attribute this to either my ineptitude as a student of those teachings or that somehow those paths were not for me. This is not so with Sri Vidya. Everything clicked into place in a very short period.

There is nothing about my spiritual journey that makes me special. Everyone is equally special in a Guru’s eyes. What endears us to the Guru are our virtues, honesty, compassion, love, hard work and dedication. More than external demonstration, our true intention behind every thought, word and action is important. A Guru sees right through us even if we are not in his immediate physical presence. His Grace will help us overcome any obstacle on the path. 

My path to the teachings of Sri Vidya did not come easy. The long winding road that I took makes these teachings even more special and valuable to me. It is human nature to not value something that is handed to us on a platter. Only if we work for it, it becomes valuable to us. We are very lucky that these teachings are handed to us so easily. They are precious and need to be respected as such. Guruji is very kind and compassionate in giving us all the levels (1-7) in a matter of three days. I urge my fellow sadhaks to recognize and appreciate what a special gift this is to all of us.

My journey started when I was a young boy of nine. One hot summer night, we were laying on an open terrace. Looking up at the stars there were questions that arose in my mind. They were deep and troubling questions to which I did not think there were any answers. These were questions such as, who am I? What is my place in the universe and why does it have to be so big? I can reach the stars with my eyes but I cannot reach them with my hands, why? These questions continue to linger in a silent compartment of my mind. Instinctively I felt there was a path, but how do I find it? I sought to answer those questions as the years went by; reading many books, going to courses and trying various techniques. Nothing seemed to satisfy me. I was not after visions or experiences, although they would be nice to behold. I simply wanted the truth of my own existence.

Fast forward to May 2016, I was at a retreat in the woods north of Toronto, Canada. A sweet and compassionate saintly monk from the Himalayas was holding a retreat on the teachings of Zen. At that time, I had no idea that he was an adept in Sri Vidya. Like everyone else there, I was granted a 5-minute private audience where I could ask any question of him. He had been speaking and giving discourses for many hours a day. I wished to let him have my five minutes in the form of silence. I did not want to ask him anything that pertained to my personal life. I went with the thought that my mind is my own business and I don’t want to trouble him with that. Why have him waste his power of speech on something that is trivial in the big scheme of things? So, I sat and these words came out almost involuntarily, “If you think I am ready…”. He smiled and before I could complete my sentence, he said, “You are ready. The application is in and the file will move on per Divine Mother’s wishes”. He beckoned me close, made a mudra out of his fingers which I did not recognize, uttered something and put his thumbs on my forehead for a few minutes. Following this he put his hands on my head and smiled and said he was planting a seed. I left silently not knowing what to make of all this.

Couple of weeks later, something made me order a book on amazon titled Shakti mantras. I flipped through the pages when I got the book and settled on a page at random. There was a mantra that I was drawn to and it went as follows, “Om Hreem Shreem Kleem Adya Kalika Param Eswari Swaha”. I felt an urge to recite that mantra not just during dedicated meditation periods but also during the day in between activities.

After a few weeks, I was casually looking online for more information on Sri Vidya and came across www.srividyasadhana.com. I was stunned to see that they offered online deeksha. I requested and received my deeksha mantra for Srividya level 1. As part of the instructions, I was supposed to sit in a particular manner and follow a certain protocol in order for the energy to be awakened by Guruji. In my excitement, I misread the date and time and marked by calendar for the following week. But on the scheduled date and time when the deeksha was supposed to happen (which I was unaware of), inexplicably I took my seat in my usual place of meditation. I could not understand why I felt such waves of peace. There were pinprick like sensations all over my back, neck and arms. This lasted for about an hour and then I got up. Later on I realize that I unknowingly sat down and received deeksha at the appointed hour. That seemed to me like a miraculous occurrence. An auspicious beginning indeed.

With the eagerness of a child who has just been given a promised gift, I “unwrapped” the instructions of the first level in my mind after memorizing them. As oil gets consumed by a fire, I watched the negative tendencies of the mind dissolve as I practiced. The results were very tangible and consistent. The stillness of the mind was as predictable as the still water of a high mountain lake. Anger became very subtle and those bubbles of anger that were trying to gain access to the surface of the mind where they would unleash their internal fury became almost nonexistent. Confidence levels rose higher and higher like a kite that catches a favorable wind. The coded whispers within seemed to suggest that anything I asked for would be fulfilled. I was careful not to ask for anything of a personal nature. I had come too far for me to turn back and return to worldly pursuits. But I strangely never felt like turning my back on the world. Joy was in abundance everywhere, both at work and at home. Whenever I wished well for others, it felt like my whole being was jumping up to greet that person. It was spontaneous and childlike.

Adding in another layer to the practice in level 2 seemed to unravel a hidden layer within. Calmness was the gift that it brought along. Sitting still for 1-2 hours seemed like a breeze. The eternal battle with restlessness was finally turning the corner. Calmness brought along with it another friend, a helpful nature that desired only to help and not seek or expect a return favor. The vast, dark recesses of the mind started to shrink and take the proportions of the body as if the body and the mind were made of the same mold. When the attention was on the eyes the whole body appeared to have the power to see and the same with the other senses. Five became one and one became five.

With yet another practice added in on the third rung of the seven-step ladder, pleasant sensations started to spring up like little jets of water on the base of calmness. It mostly felt like a cool sensation on the back along the spine like a mountain stream caressing a rock face. Rather than an effort to sit still, it seemed to take an effort to breathe or move. Breath started to slow down and stilled for brief interludes between occasional intake of air. The body seemed perfectly happy without the usual bellowing of the lungs. The head and neck felt as still as the trunk of a tree and the awareness of the body that was draped on it became indistinct and blurry. It almost felt like a fog was swallowing my physical frame.

The mind dissolved into these states just as sugar crystals dissolve in water. Even if I did dip my awareness into the mind, the taste was sweet and palatable. All forms of life including animals, birds and insects seem to emerge from that same mist that was around me. The message was oneness of all beings. Divine Mother seemed to play hide and seek in the form of my wife, mother and daughter. What could I offer them other than my love? Everything was of the divine and from the divine.

The fragrance of the meditative state has become easier to hold onto. Silence has become an essential commodity. The nights and early mornings sing songs only a silent mind can hear. In that communion of silence, there is that inner guide watching, waiting and asking to come closer. There are many more miles to, but what a journey it has been after just a few steps. What can one do but fully surrender when the world appears like an endless meadow full of enchanting flowers? I may have tasted a sampling of the fruits but there is much work to be done on my part until the seed that was planted grows into a fully-grown tree capable of spreading those very same seeds to others. All we must do is to stand as patiently as a tree and wait for those dew drops of Grace nourish our roots. Guruji is always with us and best offering we can give him is to treasure the immense value of these teachings and hold them dear as we do our every breath.

My learning  & experiences from Siddha Mulavarga Srividya sadhana teachings:

By Sri Kamalananda (India)

Om Sri Matha Lalithambika Rajarajeshwari Maha Tripura Sundari Saranam mama

With surrenderance and humility to Mother Divine, Moolanji and Guruji, I would like to share my learning and experience.

Most of the earlier generations in our family were practicing meditation. At the age of 20, I attended a meditation class during which I got the initiation. I started practicing it and I could notice few changes in myself. I was pursuing my B.E and was irregular. I got re-initiated twice but due to lack of sincerity, I could not progress and discontinued.

In December 2015, my friend informed me about a personality development workshop which both of our families attended. I was very much impressed with it. My friend informed me about a 4-day workshop that the same organization conducts. I was interested and asked him to inform me when the program dates are published. Couple of weeks later, my friend called me and informed me about the workshop and told me that he has forwarded the details of the workshop. I readily agreed to enroll for the workshop even without looking into details.

I was eagerly waiting for the workshop. One day before the workshop, I got the venue details from my friend. I reached the venue and met my friend. We both entered the workshop. Only then I realized that it was SriVidya and not the personality development. I had absolutely no clue about what SriVidya Sadhana was all about. The seats were full and people eagerly waiting for the session to start.

Then came a young gentleman dressed in white. He started with prayers and soon I realized that the person was the Guruji. I was just a mute spectator. I had heard of instances about people ending up being prey of commercial workshops of meditation and spirituality. I just prayed that I don’t end up being one such victim.

The session started and he started with mantra chanting. I followed the procedure. While teaching the principles of Srividya, Guruji spoke about importance of knowing who the master is before surrendering. This was something like addressing my worry. I wondered if he read my thoughts and felt guilty for being suspicious about Guruji. This gave me a relief and was able to concentrate in the workshop. When the day ended, I touched the feet of Guruji for blessings. I felt a heat in my lower back at the location in my back, which had slip discs two years ago.  Confidence deep rooted in my mind and thoughts and no look back in my life.

Then I discussed with my friend and learnt from him that he had taken kriya yoga diksha from the same Guruji and he has been practicing it.

I would like to share my learning from teachings and experiences.  

How Siddha Healing helped

Principle –

  • “Mantra is 5%-10%, intent and devotion is 95% that matters”

During my first month of Srividya Practice, I was able to pass siddha-healing energies to a cancer patient who was on life support. A day later when I called to enquire how the condition of the patient, I was told that he was out of danger and later discharged from hospital.

Inspired by this, my wife also enrolled for Srividya Sadhana. During our discussion, she pointed out that I was chanting one word wrong in soul mantra. I wondered even with incorrect chanting, the energies were still channeled. This reminded me of the principle that Guruji used to state “Mantra is 5%-10%, intent and devotion is 95% that matters”

How Srividya Sadhana Helped me as a Student

Principle(s)

  • “Achieving your heart desires using positive thinking and visualization”

  • “Where there is focus, there is energy and result”

I wanted to pursue my M.Tech and wanted to take up entrance exam. One of my friends at office reminded me of the dates of the exam. I read through the syllabus of exam and knew that coaching is required as it had been 14 years that I had graduated. The same night, I started searching in for a coaching institute. I found a blog with contact details at 11:45 in the night. Next day I spoke to the person and I joined. He was younger than me but very knowledgeable. He gave me very valuable guidance including how should I manage my study time. There were only 4 M.Tech seats (Part Time) reserved for the people working in IT industry. I started applying the principle of “Positive thinking and visualization of the goal”.  This always helped me maintain positive mindset and prepare for exam. Two of the eleven subjects I skipped, as I had no idea about it. On the day of exam, I finished my preparation early. Did my regular Sriyantra pooja and started to exam center. I was very calm, did not think much about exam. In the exam hall, I prayed to mother divine and moolanji that I have done my best and need their guidance in answering the questions from subjects that I had skipped. Exam started and I followed the guidelines provided by my coach. The last minute bell rang. I had 8 questions unanswered from the skipped subjects. I answered the 8 with out even reading the question, as it was multiple-choice question. When the results was announced, I got to know that I had secured 4th rank including Full time and Part Time students who had appeared in the exam. Also 6 out of 8 answers that I had blindly marked were correct.

How Srividya Sadhana helped me as a house holder

Principle –

  • “Inner world, creates outer world”

  • “Protect yourself and your family”

  • “Being aware of Thoughts and Emotions ”

  • “Surrendering the worries”

  • “Meditate regularly and sincerely”

  • “Taken care of”

As a householder, we need to deal with various types of people and situations. Staying positive plays a vital role under all circumstances.  The moment we let negative thoughts play on our mind, we end up loosing ourselves to anger and frustration. In the beginning, I had to make conscious effort to keep thinking positive. I kept a watch on how I feel and what did I spend more time thinking about through the day. This helped me identify what are the things that my mind is more concerned about. Whenever I encountered a situation that made me emotional or angry, I used to defer the conversation to take control of situation. I used to surrender all such thoughts during my meditation and pooja. I started noticing that I felt more relieved and composed. As days passed by, I started noticing that I needed less conscious effort to watch my emotion as I was more peaceful and calm.

How Srividya Sadhana helped me in my work

Principle(s) –

  • “Taken care of”

  • “Being aware of Thoughts and Emotions ”

  • “Protect yourself and thoughts”

One of the major aspects of life for any individual is being happy at work. With lot of dynamics at work and rat race in corporate work environment, work could become hectic and not a joy. Adding to this is insecurity of job. With Job cuts all around, being one of the best performers, one need to have good people around. With regular meditation, I was able to discard all negative thoughts. I avoided getting into discussions in groups that involved passing negative thoughts. In unavoidable situations, I used to add protection to thoughts and myself. Meditation always gave me a confidence that I am taken care of and let divine handle the rest.

How Srividya Sadhana helped me as an Individual (spiritually)

Principle(s) –

  • “Taken care of”

  • “Being aware of Thoughts and Emotions ”

  • “Surrender”

  • “Living in the present”

  • “Living the experiences”

  • “Aligning soul and mind”

  • “Let go, Let divine”

I needed a clarification for a question triggered by my thought. I, E-mailed Guruji. Guruji responded saying that living the experiences of meditation in daily life is the way to progress. After meditation, I used try to think about my experiences and find out what I need to implement in daily life. I had couple of blissful experiences in form of divine energies but could not find any experience that I could implement. The next workshop was announced and I planned to attend to ask for details about the E-mail response.

In the workshop, he was emphasizing on “Being aware of Thoughts and Emotions ”. Students in the session were enquiring about gap between levels. Guruji said 8 weeks is the minimum. A thought struck that let me implement the teaching “Being aware of Thoughts and Emotions” for 8 weeks. I completely forgot to seek clarification to E-mail response. This was an icebreaker for me. I started understanding myself. How I thought and reacted to situations and comments. Every time when I had a thought that was due to disagreement with others or situation, I started asking “what if so?”, “why not?”. Gradually, I started realizing that it is trick of mind to keep me busy in unwanted, useless thoughts. This led to alignment of soul and mind. Today, I am able to differentiate what to ignore and what to consider. This made me live in the present moment. In the next workshop, I picked up the teaching of “Surrender”.  One of the initial challenges for the beginners while meditation is “distracted by thoughts”.  I started implementing the surrenderance technique that was taught by Guruji when we are concerned about any situation/goal/relationship/job. As I started implementing each of the principles taught, I was able to observer lessons in my meditation. My connect with masters and mother divine became stronger. I implement the experiences and lessons every day and every moment. I live every moment of my life with divine and masters. I have been playful with divine mother. She is always around me – alive. If anybody scolds me or attempts to hurt me, I connect to mother divine and request to convey my thanks to their higher-self for clearing one item from my karmic baggage and pray mother divine to bless them as they are ignorant about their actions and thoughts. I pray to divine to help them in learning their lessons and bless them a better life. Today, even people who disliked me earlier walk up to me and talk. I see a smile and joy when they approach to talk to me. Change in me first led to change in others. Life is joyful and world is beautiful.

Guruji has been generous by accepting me as a student and sharing sacred knowledge of Srividya, guiding me through all situations. Moolanji has been guiding me in my spiritual growth.  Other than surrendering myself , I don’t know a way to convey my thanks to my mother divine for blessing me with Srividya, Moolanji and Guruji who are my guardians 

Srividys Sadhana – A Life Changing Journey

by Sri Kumar (India)

It was September 2014 that I finally decided to take Srividya sadhana deeksha after visiting the Srividyasadhana.com website again and again for many months. I had been chanting the Lalitha sahasranama and Lalitha trishati intensely for 12 years prior. I had read scores of inspiring books on spirituality. I had turned into a seeker but, was undecided on what path to take for many years. However, all of a sudden one day I woke up with a profound desire to get initiated into Srividya. It was a very spontaneous desire. I decided Srividya is going to be the path for me. However, I’d heard how difficult it is to find a guru who would be willing to give a deeksha into the esoteric Srividya. I’d heard how secretive and mysterious Srividya was. I’d heard how Srividay was not meant for all and sundry. But in stark contrast here was a website that claimed to give Srividya deeksha to anybody who desired for it. The website also said the next deeksha would be at a hotel in Bangalore during the Navaratri of 2014. I wanted to enroll but the intellect in me was skeptical. I thought and thought for many weeks before reason gave-in and I finally decided to enroll. What a terrible mistake it would have been if I’d listened to my intellect. What an extraordinary event it has been to have met my guruji in Sri Sivapremanandaji. The 7 leveled deeksha was a life-turning event. The energies and peace and connection with the divine mother I felt during deeksha was an indescribable experience. I cannot thank guruji enough for initiating me. 

I feel blessed by the divine mother that she’s allowed me to perform my Srividya sadhana without a break for 18 months now. I have had ups and downs in life, I have travelled to many places and have had all the regular problems like everybody around but none of this has affected my Sadhana. A day without Sadhana is simply unthinkable. Each day has been a joy.  

The deeksha shattered so many myths and conditioning we are subjected to about issues such as sanctity etc. The 1st day of the deeksha was held in restaurant that was temporarily and hurriedly arranged because the original venue was water logged due to heavy rains the previous day. But that didn’t take away any sanctity, it did’nt stop the divine energy flow, it didn’t stop the deep meditative states I went into on that day. A public restaurant turned into a Srividya deeksha venue didn’t restrict the flow of divinity in any way and I say this out of deep experience of energies on that day. Mother Kundalini who was awakened inside me during deeksha has been so generous to me over the last 18 months. Not a day has she stopped her play inside me. The experience is turning more intense over time. She rises up in waves of bliss every single day. I’m completely immersed in her waves daily during sadhana. What a joy!!! I feel all the 7 chakras the instant I bring my awareness towards any one of them. Regular relentless sadhana with a deep love for the Mother divine is definitely bringing about palpable spiritual progress, aided in building a deep connection with myself, reduced general anxieties of my modern life. I’m able to live so much more in the present than before, I feel so much more self-aware than before, Relationships have taken new meaning. Each waking day feels more and more purposeful. I pray with all profound intent to see my divine mother and realize my ‘self’ in this very lifetime. Last but not the least, they say – a guru is not someone who simply dwells in dogmas but, a guru is someone who can give you an “experience”. Dearest Guruji Sri sivapremanandaji most definitely gave me that “experience” and gave with love.  

Srividya sadhana – The Journey of Self!

With humility and gratitude, I would like to share my experiences with the practice of Sri Vidya under our Guruji Sivapremanandji.

My rendezvous with Spirituality started in year 2011 when I wanted to find the real meaning of life, peace, health and also to make most of this human life by coming out of the never ending cycle of life-death.

Being an IT graduate, my natural forte for all research was Google! Unfortunately, while it offers a great deal of info, a lot of spiritual knowledge in India has been traditionally imparted in direct Guru-Shishya mode where-in one finds a lot of information, but not much insight into its authenticity and truthfulness.

However, good sense prevailed and I started by reading lot of good books and few select autobiographies of accomplished saints. The deeper I went the more I realized my love for the esoteric. I had interest to learn and learn in-depth the secrets of universe, the undying and unmatched legacy of our spiritual forefathers. I also realized, I wanted to pick up the line that’s best for me and that started my exploration of Bhakti, Gyana, Upanishad, Yoga, Yog Nidra, Kriya and whatever else I could lay my hands upon!

The more I learnt, the more it increased my confusion as our spiritual texts are not only cryptic but also contradictory when read verbatim! Shiva Purana will say Shiva is supreme and Vishnu Purana will say Vishnu is supreme while Surya Purana will portray Surya as numero uno. Which one to believe and how to decide was a million dollar question!

I joined a paths in hope of learning the ultimate but somehow was never able to reach zenith. Joined another but something always lacked that made me continue my search for the right path. Some of the paths, I have followed in past were also quite expensive where the sessions never ended and each one cost a good amount. Then there were always talks about advanced levels in future but with no clear timeline and direction. Somewhere, it went against the whole foundation of spirituality but I continued my sojourn hoping for an oasis somewhere in the spiritual desert of kaliyuga.

In the process, I also had some good learning as well like I learnt spirituality can only bestow itself by grace! That you can learn the essence of books by praying to god/guru first and asking for grace! That faith and belief are the key foundation for your spiritual growth! That the maximum number of hindrances come your way only when you are starting a spiritual pursuit as your past karma try their might to stop you, as your success will not let them fructify!

One day after getting frustrated, I went to a Shirdi Sai Baba temple, sat there and internally spoke with him about the whole ordeal. I shared that I am trying hard but am struggling. Not only the truth and true line is eluding me but also it seems like spirituality is also a business in Kaliyuga. I begged for help and asked him to get me Guru from the earlier times like Satyuga or Treta yuga as their prime interest was growth of disciple and were armed with profound divine knowledge! And lo! that day in evening as I was surfing on my laptop when something prodded me to search for Sri Viday on Google. I did and came across the site Srividyasadhna.com . It spoke about Srividya indepth, clearly shared the learning roadmap with articulation about the levels and that only one Dikksha is required. I read that Guruji Sivapremananda has a corporate background and is highly educated. Moreover, Sadguru Thirumoolar is a father of Siddhas and from the ancient times! You could find information about him as one of the leading 18 Tamil Siddhas. It almost felt like the powers above had listened to me.

Thereafter, I started asking myself during my meditation practices, if I should try it out? One bright day my inner voice said yes go ahead and I registered for the offline Dikksha. I chose evening time for Dikksha as I wanted to sleep after that to ensure all the energies are absorbed fully. My lucky day came and I took the Dikksha. It was a brilliant experience and it took off a lot of load from me. Thereafter, when I started practicing the meditation prescribed by Guruji, I was amazed at the step where you just contemplate on breath as it takes one so deep within. Within a month, I found a workshop being held in Banglore and I registered for it and met Guruji personally. Such a humble personality with sole aim of spiritual upliftment of seekers is hard to find and only punyas from earlier birth can grant one such a grace. He conducted in-depth sessions, shared pearls of wisdom that are not found in any books. You could ask him as many questions as you liked and even if he didn’t want to answer, he still did J.

Since the time, I learnt meditation from Guruji Sivapremanandji, there has been no looking back. My endless pursuit of trying new lines of spirituality has ended. I am indebted in gratitude for the grace he showered me with. Not only, he opened the pathway to divinity, but also to Sadguru Thirumoolarji – My guru who belongs to the ancient times J just as I requested.
Meditations taught by Sivapremanandji are quite powerful. Sincere practice, belief in Guru and faith in the almighty are the only three things required. Guruji is always there to answer your queries on email. Even things that are difficult to comprehend initially gradually unfold and the true essence becomes clearer. The teachings and principles taught by Guruji are simple, practical and easy to follow. He has cut many of the traditional complexities into very simple process making it as the ultimate path for the generation of 21st Century who in my views can progress only and only by grace!

With practice, meditation becomes easier and the effects & feel of meditation last longer and easier to hold to. Acquaintance to Divine mother and father of universe becomes stronger and it appears as if they are always watching the whole world. You learn that spirituality is nothing but experience. All the essence of different paths of spirituality that I have been through culminates seamlessly in the teachings of Sadguru Thirumoolarji.

There are still many steps to go but what a spectacular journey even with few small steps! Guruji is always with us, selflessly helping us progress towards the ultimate and the best we can do is to treasure his teachings and practice the meditations sincerely and make him proud by experiencing the “All in One and One in All” and realizing our real self!

Practical Sri Vidya – In the light of Lalitha Sahasranam

by Sri Dr.Niranjan(USA)

Chadur bahu samanvidha …

She who has four arms …

We are surrounded by divinity in one form or another in all four directions. Whichever way we turn, if we look long and hard, we will discover a path. Mother Divine’s four arms seem to suggest that. All four arms are attached to one body. Each of us may start our spiritual journey at different times and in different places. Space and time collide into one point when we reach our true inner self. The inner journey may begin and end with a single thought if we persist long enough with that thought. But for most people, the journey ends almost instantaneously as the focus of attention switches repeatedly from one thought to another. Only thoughts that stay long enough in our awareness have the hope of turning into actions and accomplishments.

In one sense, we are lucky that thoughts are not scarce. When we lose focus on one, the next one arrives instantaneously. Normally, this continuous stream of thoughts is a distraction and a source of restlessness, but this same process may be helpful in the early stages of a spiritual journey. Since our power of attention and concentration may not be sufficiently strong, losing focus on one thought is to be expected. When the focus on a particular thought disappears, especially if it is a thought related to a spiritual practice, all is not lost. We can transfer the contents of that thought onto the next one that arrives. The only skill to be developed is not getting influenced and distracted by what that next thought may bring, but in using that thought’s energy as a vehicle. The mistake we make is allowing thoughts to control the content. We have the power to control its content, but this power is rarely developed or exercised. Just as a credit card number is associated a bank account, our thoughts are linked with our unique individual awareness, which may be compared to an individual’s bank account. Let’s say we lose a credit card. All we must do is call the bank and ask for a replacement and put a freeze on the card that was lost. We don’t have to change banks. Similarly, when we lose focus on a particular thought, we can easily transfer its contents as long as we remember to call the “bank of awareness” and ask for a suitable “replacement” thought. How much we put in a bank determines how much we can take out. Similarly, greater the awareness, greater is the ability to transfer the contents of one thought to another.

As we grow in awareness, speed of transit of thoughts will also slow down. Imagine speeding in a car, driving well over the speed limit. There is always the danger of a collision and making turns may be extremely dangerous at those high speeds. Only when we slow down at an intersection can we safely turn in one direction or another. Also, it becomes easier to read road signs. Similarly, as the stream of thoughts slow down, we can start to hold a particular thought for a longer duration. With a firmer grip, we can start to “drive” thoughts in the direction we want. When one first starts driving, it seems like a difficult task that takes all our effort and concentration. This concentrated effort makes the mind meditative in a way. But there is uncertainty and fear associated with the responsibility of ensuring the safety of a chunk of moving metal weighing several thousand pounds. This fear takes away from the “meditative” quality of our one pointed attention while learning a skill such as driving. Similarly fear on a spiritual path takes away the meditative byproduct of our practices.

Once we learn how to drive and practice it repeatedly, the act of driving becomes second nature. We can then do other tasks (which is not advisable) while driving such as speaking on the phone. Similarly, once thoughts come under our control and we become good drivers within the mind, contemplation may be added in. Unlike speaking on a telephone while driving, this type of multitasking is advisable. We can move up the “value added chain” and impart higher quality content to the thoughts we hold with our attention. Then our real spiritual journey starts. Just as a car that starts up and slowly picks up speed from a stationary position, taking some time to reach its peak speed, one cannot expect instant results the moment we start our spiritual journey. The time taken to reach an optimal safe speed varies from individual to individual. Those who have thoroughly mastered driving in driver training classes are safe and dependable drivers the moment they hit the road on their own. Those who skip classes and don’t fully understand the rules of the road are unsafe drivers and probably would not be given a license to drive.

Similarly, any teaching that we follow, following the Guru’s instructions carefully is prudent to have a safe and peaceful spiritual journey. This is especially true of the teachings of Sri Vidya where the sonic power of one-syllable seed sounds is tremendous. If applied in the right manner as taught by the Guru, it produces results in the manner expected. Just as only someone who knows all the rules of the road and has adequate driving experience is capable of teaching someone else how to drive, the Guru is an expert and all we must do is learn those rules and practice them as prescribed. But as is often the case, we bend and twist those rules hoping for quicker results or we may be looking for a shortcut.

Mother nature has already given us full license to operate our mind as we desire. If we don’t operate the mind properly, it could be dangerous to us and others. Furthermore, the roads in the land of spirituality are unknown to us. The same rules that apply in the world may or may not apply there. The journey may seem long and arduous, but the road ahead can be very straight and easy if we make adequate preparations. Any course of study starts with the basics and then progresses to more advanced lessons. So is the case with the teachings of Sri Vidya. The safety of a tall building depends on the strength of its foundation. Similarly, we can safely scale great spiritual heights only if our foundations are strong. One cannot expect to gain proficiency in advanced techniques on day one. When the Guru feels we are ready, we are given the keys to the higher levels. In the worldly arena, any given field has a finite proven depth beyond which uncertainty exists. But in spirituality, the depth is infinite, it cannot be easily proven but certainty exists in those unfathomable depths. The proof of that is the bliss one experiences.

When driving on a straight and empty road, one can relax the grip on a steering wheel and there isn’t a need to grip it tightly as one might in busy city traffic. Patience can be thought of in terms of “relaxing the grip on the mind” without ceding control of it. If we don’t have to grip a steering wheel tightly all the time, it makes a long journey comfortable. Dealing with a restless mind is like gripping a steering wheel with unnecessary force. Just as a light breeze can effortless change the direction of a large cloud in the sky, the breeze of patience can seemingly without effort change the direction of thoughts in the mind. But if we enter a cloud with a lot of force just as an aeroplane does when flying through it, the cloud parts and swallows the plane. Similarly, if thoughts are forcibly put aside or suppressed, they readily part just like a cloud. When we enter their midst, we run into the danger of losing sight of the “blue sky” of our inner self. Instead we go deeper into the mind and eventually our awareness is swallowed up completely by the mind.

If the weather is very cold, it may take some time to warm up a car’s engine before the accelerator can be safely applied. A cold engine when given an excessive load might wear out much quicker. Similarly, in the practice of Sri Vidya, our “engine” is devotion to Mother Divine and the Guru. Without “warming” the practice of the teachings with our devotion, no amount of effort will take us to the goal. Our patience with the path and the efforts needed will wear out quickly. On any spiritual path, it is natural to have an expectation of results. Only a handful of people approach spirituality without expectations. Disillusionment sets in when expectations are not met and in that ignorance, one feels that a given technique does not work. When this happens, devotion quickly disappears and the bed of spirituality on which were sown seeds that could potentially be life transforming dries up. The mind is ever in search of new experiences and this facet of the mind takes us from one path to another. There is always that thought that something else may be better or easier. Only we can start and warm the “engine” of devotion. An external agent cannot force that process, it has to come from within. The Guru shows the way and gives us an initial push. How far that push takes us depends on the depth of our devotion. Devotion is not a finite entity. It can be very shallow or of infinite dimension. More the devotion, bigger is the capacity of the “fuel tank”, which is the capacity for inner growth.

Our devotion turns on the Guru’s Pointing System or GPS. With a global positioning system that we use while driving, one need not know every detail about which roads to turn on. All one needs to do is follow turn by turn directions and be watchful of the road immediately ahead. The ordinary mind is like a city center with narrow, crowded streets. In the beginning of the practice of Sri Vidya or any other spiritual endeavor, the Guru’s grace becomes our GPS. It shows the way ahead. With practice, as the mind becomes calmer and more one pointed, one can travel great distances on the spiritual path quickly and safely. On a long, straight and empty stretch of road, a global positioning system although useful in guiding us of any turns coming up, we can be reliant on our own eyesight to see those upcoming turns. The progress of a spiritual aspirant could be measured in the self-reliance in keeping one’s dedication and intensity on the practice. The GPS of a Guru is helps us measure our progress, provided we have faith. We place tremendous faith in an unknown voice on our phones which gives directions while we drive. When we have known, met and accepted a Guru, why should faith be lacking in the Guru’s instructions? If our intensity and dedication to the practice of Sri Vidya remains the same as it was on the day of initiation, the destination is predictable. But if one starts and stops the prescribed practices unpredictably, the only prediction that may be made is that one’s expectations of a result will not be fulfilled. The very fact that we are lost in the world of senses seems to indicate that we either don’t have or are not following the instructions of the spiritual GPS. However, every moment offers a new opportunity to turn it back on again.

Once the Guru initiates someone, power of that initiation stays forever. Initiation is not done in the past or the future, but done contemporaneously in the present. It is like a key that unlocks. Once that inner channel of communication is opened to us, it stays open. Only we have to make an effort to enter it. During initiation, the Guru walks a few steps with us and then points the direction in which to go and says, “I’ll meet you at the destination”. That “destination” isn’t a faraway place in the high heavens or in the distant future. It is in this very moment. It seems far away because we are not locked into the present moment. The mind constantly wavers from the past to the future. Whenever we are in the present, we can tap into the Guru’s power. When awareness is dragged away from the present, we feel that the power of initiation has faded and we seek “re-initiation” from the Guru. But we can “re-initiate” ourselves by bringing our awareness back to the present, remembering and executing the teachings in the present moment. When it rains, we have a choice to seek shelter inside or go out in the rain. Unlike adults, children love playing in the rain. The rain of grace is always falling. If we choose to take shelter in our mind, we will never experience that divine grace. Being childlike is synonymous with being in the present. Children don’t take shelter in the mind (that is in the past or the future). With the Guru, if we take that attitude of being childlike, that is being in the present, we can play in the rain of grace for as long as we like.

The power of initiation cannot be underestimated. That power spreads in all four directions and whichever direction we approach it from, we are benefitted. Some are inclined towards work and its power may be felt there. Others may be predominantly intellectual and use this to discriminate between right and wrong. Many have a devotional preference. There may be some who have an inclination for all three. Work, devotion and intellect are the three main avenues which can take us to the land of spirituality. Initiation is like turning on the ignition switch of a car. Our mind may be compared to a car. It is a vehicle for our inner journey. Once a car’s engine is turned on, we don’t have to keep turning the ignition on again and again. By doing so, the engine is not going to run any faster or better. That switch is only turned off once the car reaches its destination and is safely parked. Similarly, till we reach our spiritual home and have the ability to park our total awareness in our innermost core or soul, the ignition switch of initiation stays on. This keeps the mind moving in the right direction. When a car’s engine is running, it burns fuel regardless of whether the car is stationary or moving. The distance that can be covered depends on the quantity of fuel left in the tank. Similarly, once an initiation is received, if we don’t pursue and practice the prescribed teachings given to us, time keeps burning our “fuel” which is the life span allotted to our body. Unlike a car where there is a gauge that lets us know how much fuel is remaining, we don’t don’t have any way of estimating our life span. In every moment, there is life and death, they are not once in a lifetime events. If we are doing something useful, that is life and if we are wasting our time, that is death. With every moment, there are only two things we can do. Either we can do something useful with it or let that moment die unused. With each “momentary death”, a small portion of our lifespan is taken away and never returned to us.

A tendency to procrastinate is a common affliction. After this lifetime, there is no guarantee that there will be another similar life experience. A deep-seated expectation of many is that there is a “better life” in the afterlife. If expectation cannot die with our bodily death, what to speak of getting rid of expectations while we are still alive? Only when we understand the finality that comes when the curtain of death descends will we seize the urgency of every moment. Our conscious mind isn’t capable of penetrating that curtain. The senses are too weak to do that. If we cannot see through a simple brick wall, how can we hope to see the beyond? Just like we have developed tools to look where eyes cannot see, such as microscopes and telescopes, we can develop the sixth sense of intuition to experience what the senses cannot perceive. The seed syllables given in the teachings of Sri Vidya penetrate the inner void we have no access to. The power of intuition becomes our power to see where this sound originates from and to where it returns. Although our recitation may be internal or external, sound does not originate from the conscious mind, it only manifests there. A tree originates from a seed. When a tree is visible, the seed becomes invisible. But every characteristic of that tree comes from its seed. Just as talking produces a sound, the movement of thought also produces a sound. Sound is the “seed”. As is the seed, so is the tree. From a spiritual standpoint, what is verbalized externally is less important than what is verbalized internally. The intent behind and direction given to the mental “sound” or thoughts determines the pace and distance of our spiritual progression.

Nature relies on redundancy. This assures continuation of living species. A tree does not produce a handful of extra seeds, it produces tens and thousands. An enormous forest comes out of tiny seeds. The forest of spirituality which we are all in search of also starts from seeds emerging from Mother Divine’s and the Guru’s tree of grace. Just as each of the millions of seeds trees may produce have the same potential to grow into trees, every seed of spiritual grace has equal potential. A tree never places expectation on the seeds that it produces. Once they fall off the tree, they are set free and given all the protection needed to travel near or far. When suitable soil is found, the seed has the chance to grow into another tree. Similarly, we are “set free” and given the power of free will. Grace protects us in the form of life in the body. When the seeds of spirituality sown in the mind have encountered suitable soil, the tree of divinity within has a chance to sprout. To us it may seem like a waste of seeds for a tree to produce so much and scatter them in every direction. But for nature, even if one in a million take root and grow into a tree, it is worthwhile. The Guru’s patience is infinitely large and expectations infinitesimally small, and even if one in a million attain the realization of one’s own inner self that is enough in the eyes of the Guru.

No matter where we are in the world, wind currents connect us all. The basis of the movement of wind is a manifestation of electromagnetic energy. This electromagnetic energy is harnessed by an ordinary cell phone. A cell phone is a recent invention. The mind is an ancient creation. Only if the electronics are suitably arranged can a cell phone connect with another cell phone in the opposite corner of the world. Similarly, the “circuitry” of the mind may be reorganized to connect with the “greater” mind of the Guru, whose grace also travels to us through electromagnetic energy. We take for granted that we can easily connect with one another through the power of telecommunication. Why cannot the mind which is far more sophisticated connect with the Guru’s stream of consciousness? When we get the instrument, which is the seed of initiation this becomes possible. We are taught how to use this instrument but if we don’t use it properly, the fault lies with us and not the Guru or the teachings.

For a phone to work well, the battery must be well charged. This is also true with the mind. Sleep is a passive form of charging the mind. It is pleasant and relaxing but it does not have the power to transform us internally. A spiritual practice such as Sri Vidya is an active form of charging the mind. The transformation it brings is complete as it touches every cell by impacting the “invisible” single cell that is the basis of the body. It is true “stem cell” therapy. It “wirelessly” charges the mind, even if we are not in the Guru’s immediate presence. All that we need to do is recall the Guru in our mind with devotion and dedication along with the prescribed practice. A phone may be plugged into a wall, but without a source of electricity it cannot charge. Similarly, our individual spiritual practice is like plugging a phone into the wall. Merely practising is not adequate. The Guru’s spiritual electricity can only reach us if we turn the switch of our devotion on. When a phone charges, there is no external indication of it charging. But some indication of how much it is charged will appear on the screen. Similarly, on the screen of the mind, the amount of our spiritual charge will be evident in the form of bliss. Devotion and dedication to the Mother Divine and the Guru may not necessarily change our outward appearance which to a large part is determined by genetics and environmental conditions, but inner transformation will be apparent. This inner growth may appear slow, but that is also true of a tree that starts off as a seed. If we continuously watch a tree looking for signs of growth, we may not see any. But after a few weeks or months if we look again, the difference will be apparent. Similarly, one should not expect to see daily results with any spiritual practice. In that expectation, will be lost forever the fruits of the practice.

When the seed of spirituality is planted within us during initiation, the first drops “water” that nourish the seed are the power of Mother Divine and the Guru. That is enough to unlock our potential. But if we don’t tend to and water that seed, it will always remain a potential. Our efforts bring out its kinetic energy. When our practice is young and tender that kinetic energy must be protected from the “beasts” that roam within the mind in the form of anger, greed, jealousy, lust, torpor etc. Those “beasts” are far deadlier that even the most ferocious wild animals. Contrary to belief, wild animals do not attack unprovoked. They are generally shy creatures. But there is no shyness when it comes to humans exhibiting evil qualities that lurk in the mind. Just as animals may be tamed, the mind can also be tamed. After many generations of tame thoughts, the mind will not go back to its wild old ways. A train can be easily controlled if its wheels are running on the tracks that are made for it. If it veers off track, a runaway train is impossible to control and may cause great destruction.

The mind may be compared to a busy train station, and thoughts may be compared to transiting passengers. Just as people come and go from all four directions, thoughts come and go in many directions. If one has a ticket, one may board a train without fear. A ticket examiner only looks at the ticket we are holding and not whether we are happy or sad. If one has a ticket for the journey, there is freedom to travel. Similarly, thoughts cannot travel and enter our consciousness unless we give them the ticket to do so. The ticket we give thoughts is our identification with them. When we give them attention, emotion and awareness it turns into identification. When thoughts have a definite context, they easily transfer into our memory. From there that energy returns to the conscious mind in the form of another thought. This process is endless and we enable it every moment of our lives. Imagine the accumulated backlog in our memory bank waiting to burst forth and flood our limited human consciousness. There is an ever-present danger of this happening. We have invented convenient distractions that keep our individual consciousness busy. Stored memories may be forgotten this way but they can never be erased.

The world can either be a distraction or an aid in the spiritual path. It becomes a distraction if we choose to experience it through the senses. If we decide to experience the world through awareness that is not identified with thoughts, it becomes a great aid. A ticket agent at a train station practices nonattached awareness without ever knowing it. They transact with hundreds of passengers every day and many thousands during their career. But every day they go home without a single passenger scratching the surface of their consciousness and leaving an indelible mark. We cannot detach ourselves from the mind overnight. It may take many years of hard effort. If we are regular to work, showing up on time and leaving after finishing the day’s work then after a set number of years we can stay at home and collect a pension. Similarly, if we regularly work on non-attached awareness while being in the mind, after some time we can stay away from the busy mind and are eligible to collect pension in the form of bliss. The practice of Sri Vidya is the practice of non-attached awareness.

The four limbs of divine mother are symbolic of the four things that are essential on a spiritual path. They are divine grace, a Guru, our mind and body. Divine grace is ever present. It is like the sun that shines continuously. We don’t see the sun all the time due to the earth’s rotation. Similarly, we don’t feel the presence of divine grace because our mind is turned towards the world and its attractions. If the mind turns inwards, there is inner light which is a manifestation of divine grace. The Guru is like a dam. Ordinarily, all our energies are flowing outwards. There are no good checks and balances. Sometimes there is a flood, as in a burst of emotion. Other times there is a drought, as in lack of interest in anything. A wild and unpredictable river may be tamed with the construction of dams. Instead of the water draining into the sea without being of much use along its course, a dam diverts water that can benefit many lives. Similarly, the Guru helps us create a dam within which stores our vital energy that can be used for higher purposes.

Mother divine and the Guru are intertwined and always aligned in one direction. The two missing pieces to complete the spiritual puzzle are our mind and body. Every day, we “fight” with our mind and body. Spiritualism then becomes an escape from the mind and body. We say to ourselves we want to leave the mind and body behind and enter divine consciousness. This sends a subconscious message that we dislike the mind and body. Naturally, they will start to “dislike” us in return. This manifests as a restless body while trying to concentrate and meditate and an uncooperative mind that wants to live in the world of the senses. In the Sri Vidya tradition, Mother divine is seen as being manifest in everything in creation. This includes our mind and body. When we befriend and love our mind and body from a higher soul consciousness perspective and not from the level of ordinary sensory consciousness, that friendship assumes a divine quality. The mind and body then become great aids. The center of divinity may then be approached from four directions. One, through the body, when work is done as a worship. Two, through the mind, when the capacity to discriminate what is real and unreal is fully developed. Three, through the Guru who guides and helps channel our devotion to the divine. Four, directly approaching divinity through complete surrender. All these approaches reach the same place.

Miraculous Journey Towards Divine Mother – Srividya Sadhana

by S.R.Balaji (India)

Praying Mother of all Mothers  Sree Varahi, to bless the content to convey, that which she bestowed on this being, out of her unconditional love and grace, be reached to fellow spiritual seekers with relevance and sense.  

Blessed are those, getting right belief, understanding and guidance, to reach out and receive from the divine. Our karma acts in many ways, with our own ego as base, hinders our way to reach the  right path, that suits us. It is actually the divine that unfolds the path, to those who seek with sincerity.

Divine mother feeds her child in many ways, so does she for the being in me. As each one’s  journey and experiences are different. Sharing with one another, imparts flavor, adds interest, encourages, gives new perspectives & insights ,reinforces and enhances, our Self, on this path, I believe.

 With that intent, would humbly share few learning that happened in my ongoing spiritual journey here, for following questions mentioned.  Conveyed as I received or understood it.

Q 1.  Does the Darshan, vision, dreams of divine appearance are true or it is illusion, imagination or hallucination out of our continuous feeling towards the divine form ?

Q 2.  No student reaches anywhere in spiritual plane unless a Guru lifts him. Why so?

Q 3.  Do we attract those people and events, that knocks us away from spiritual path? Why ?

Why do I suffer and struggle to hold on to my Self and progress on my path?

Q 4.  Am not able to be in state of awareness continuously. I fall often. The anger, bitterness, other low emotions in me erupts at times, hurts myself and others, that in no time, I undo all the good progress I made. Why so? . I feel guilty and hurt, to go back and stand infront of mother, aspiring spiritual progress ? What is the way out?

Q 5.  Why self realization is the foremost, one should intend? Why is it,  the one, most needed on spiritual plane, to begin ?

Ans 1 :

Almost an year back, I started praying to Ma Varahi, for her grace and to get me a Guru to reach to her.

I was excited to see a verse in a book, where it is mentioned, reciting it sincerely, will bring experience of  Mother,  like  hearing boars sound or hearing horse sound of Ashwaruda Varahi in the night, to assure that the sadhak is under her protective ring. There were versus to seek her grace, get her darshan etc. It was mentioned the experience one gets is based on his karma and sincereity.

I started praying mother with those versus with sincererity. Though my innerself started elevating during such pujas and prayers, I couldn’t hear anything as mentioned neither I got any darshan. I continued.

One night, I was little depressed. Is my prayer is not sincere enough to get her darshan or feel her presence and went to sleep.

That night during sleep, I saw a tall, well built person, in king like attire with golden  body with divine beauty. Though graceful, His appearance was immensely powerful that I got afraid  and woke up. I cannot relate it to any divine form I knew. He resembled Sri Iyannar ( Grama Devatha), but I knew he was not Iyannar, because his face radiated a divine silence and bliss, which I couldn’t relate with fierceness I associate with Iyannar.

Next  night, saw same person with a pujari infront him appeared in dream. The pujari himself was well built and about 6 or 7 feet tall and the gracious golden body person behind him was twice thrice taller and was a absolute beauty to stare at. Still I was afraid, though a part of myself felt, what if the divine I am worshipping was the one I am seeing, that I am able to connect to him.

I was afraid, it was such an energy field, not able to with stand the experience, I  woke up.                  

Time passed with me continuing  prayer to mother. The link with which I got to Ma varahi worship also got  disconnected for some reason. One day, I was crying, feeling  that neither have I felt mother nor have I got Guru to guide me.

Desperate to reach out to a Varahi Upasagar, I googled  for some source on Varahi worship. There, It was like lightning coming down on my body that I saw the image of the same king like person in google image, I was spell bound that what I saw as alive person was inform of statue in same attrire.

When I got to the website, there comes the background song of “ guru ve saranam”  and I got to know that he is Varahi Siddhar Sri Muthu Vaduganathar, originally a decendant of King family and he is reincarnation of mother Varahi herself.

What one can say about mother’s grace. Though she responded to my prayers for a Guru and her grace, I could n’t understand it.

Leaving rest apart, the divine form I saw in dream, was something that I cannot imagine, visualize out of my previous experience or knowledge. I cannot imagine a siddha in attire of a king.

When I prayed to Ma to give her experience, even if she had come with her form, I could have mistook it for my imagination those days. she had shown me the form, which is her re incarnation.

It is interesting to know from the readings on Jeeva Samadhi of Sri Varahi siddhar, in an incident, during reconstruction of siddha peetam, on a rainy day, a child gave the note of the siddha in meditation whom the child saw through a hole in the Samadhi enclosure, formed during demolition work, that his body was radiating in golden colour.

It just not possible to visualize the siddha, with such attribute, which I can came to know after several months.

Doesn’t this convey, that divine do respond and give experience, when prayed sincerely.

When what is offered is pure and true, what the divine will reciprocate in return? won’t  that also be pure and true.

Ans 2 :

People attract guidance, Guru based on their karma. When the karmic baggage is such, that,at times a student is either not able to connect to guru/path suitable for him or he is associated with Gurus who have not  fully evolved or have materialistic interest that, their guidance imparts, incorrect  understanding about divine and about one’s own self.

This makes the path more of ritual than experience. This makes the guidance more of knowledge than experience. One lacks experience, that his self is not moved. The shift doesn’t happen.

Till the time one is stuck at this level, the ego does the rest,  that it keeps unveiling karmic plays, that one cannot progress much.

At this stage, even the knowledge can only be knowledge, not experience and belief.

When one seeks with sincerity, the divine blesses to reach a Guru, who is already evolved that, he is able to show the path in his tutelage and get the experience, which will  make the transformation possible.

Ans 3 :

An incident happened recently. I was not able to do Srividya sadhana regularly, as I try scheduling it for early morning, but I can’t wake up after all the works done till late night. It was indeed a blessing that one morning, when I was sluggish to wake up, I was woken up by a Light body from Astral world, whom revealed his presence to be seen with physical eyes, so that I wake up in astonishment.I did  woke up. Thanked that being. Then started preparing for sadhana. That’s when I heared some one banging the gates of my house loudly that, I thought is my servant who comes early morning.

I keep getting angry with a servant, for making noises and disturbance while mediating.But when checked, no one was there . No even in vicinity. For a moment I thought, did the light the Light body I saw few moments back made the sound.

May be, but why would he do that, I thought. I realized if it were servant, I would have got angry, but if it was the light body I won’t, though it was a disturbance.

What does this convey.

The people, events that disturb, distract or discourage you are only tools of karma, that is duely acting to pay back. Not to get angry on them, as they are only tools. And if one react, to any such provocation with anger, ego etc, you will loose the attention on sadana and energy will spent on that. Our spiritual energy will be wasted.

One who realize this and has true inclination for  sadhana, will let go of the person and event. Will rise on spiritual path, staying liberated from effects of karma.

Ans 4 :

All guilt, influence of karma etc exists and able to exert only till we associate ourself only to level of body, which is influenced by mind. We are pure at soul level as Guruji Siva premananda conveys.

Sadhanas such as Srividya sadhana and Atma bija mantra, has given me the taste of what is mentioned in the Soul mantra, started to experience the awareness that I am soul not body in every walk of life, even when not in meditation. At this state the inner turmoil is less, that I don’t attract much of conflict outside. If a conflict arises,  able to avoid or solve without much hurt to myself and others.

The Self stays focused on the path and comes back to track, much easily.

Ans 5 :

I had few glimpses of paranormal vision, couple of times. I shared the same to concerned person, to suggest, possible solution for the situation, in context then, with good intent.

I realized that it takes my attention, energy and time away from  path to divine, that it easily pulls my level down, because of a feeling of  ego gratification and contentment that I am able to accomplish something.

I pulled myself away from that orientation. Thanks to Mother and Guruji’s blessings.

This happens when one is not self realized that he is not liberated from the worldly acts.

When one realizes he is not the doer, does the same good act,  at soul consciousness, only as a medium of divine, he will not attract karmas and his being won’t vibrate with lower emotion.

To sail on path to divine, self realized person, even if acquires siddhi’s which makes him above normal human being, he will not incur karmas that bind, in exercising the siddhi’s , that allow him to evolve.

With this understanding, I pursue Sri vidya Sadhana.

It is a privilege to share these, in this sacred space of  Guruji Sri Siva premanandaji.

He who is Mother’s helping hand extended on to us

My being, ever thankful to him and the Guru Lineage.

Dus Mahavidya – The Ten Great Sources of Wisdom

by Dr.Kavitha (USA)

The central theme of traditional tantra is the knowledge of the Self through adoration of Shakti; Sri Vidya Sadhana is one such path to the Self. Along this path of diving deeper into one’s own self, Shakti manifests in several forms of knowledge/intuitive wisdom. These forms are known as “Dasha Mahavidya”, where ten primary forms/sources of knowledge are known deeply personally and experientially.

These Mahavidyas are: Kali, Tara, Tripurasundari, Bhuvaneshwari, Tripura Bhairavi, Chinnamasta, Dhumavati, Baglamukhi, Matangi and Kamalatmika.

They are called “maha” (great) because each is a complete path and destination. Each one opens to knowledge of the remaining nine, as well as the Bindu of the Sri Yantra. It is said that devotion to and practice of any one of these will reveal our true nature and the reality of all of creation.

There are volumes written about the Dasha Mahavidyas, encompassing points of view of the yogas, tantras and the Upanishads. Scholars spend their entire lifetimes dedicated to understanding and grokking the significance of each of these Mahavidyas. My somewhat hesitant writings here thus pale in comparison. Everything expressed here is what has risen from my own practice of tantra, usually in times of intense clarity and insight that happen spontaneously. As with all of the paths of self-unfoldment, these insights will also evolve and refine.

The basis of these writings are the tantric practices of Tattwa Shuddhi and Sri Vidya Sadhana. Tattwa Shuddhi (literally, cleansing of elements) comprises of dissolution of elements corresponding to the various chakras into progressively subtler elements and then into the mahatattva (great element), Prakrithi (Shakti) and Purusha (Shiva). After internal cleansing rituals, the elements are returned to rest in the opposite direction.

In the “dissolution” part of this practice, it gradually becomes intuitively known that Shakti/Prakrithi is the witness, the first separation from the Absolute. Even when we become aware of “witnessing”, there is a sense that it is not all, or the final “it”. With deepening inquiry, one is eventually propelled to ask, “Who is aware of the witness?” and in time, we open up to the direct knowing of this awareness, that is, Purusha/Shiva. While it feels that Shakti is the “individual” witnessing principle, with a retained “I” in it, the individuality of the witness collapses as Shiva, and there is only knowing awareness that is not fixed to this and that, I and not I.

In witnessing, there remains an experience, and a knower of the experience. However, with further openings and deeper delving into this knowing awareness (Shiva, in this analogy) to be one’s true self/identity, we gradually come to see that every experience that arises is awareness itself, only seemingly separated from the knower. In every experience, when we look deeply, the “knower” is added ad hoc, in a swift play of illusion by the mind, the master magician. If we can stay with the experience, free from the mind’s interference, the knower is not seen to be separate, but known directly to have risen as the experience itself. Thus, Shakti is never separated from Shiva. If Shiva is the void, Shakti is what makes up the contents of the void, giving it form; yet, the void and the form are known via each other. Shakti is indeed Shiva, like the waves of the ocean being the ocean itself.

As in Tattwa Shuddhi, we then return to daily life, elements aligned once again as before. However, there is a distinct difference in how these elements are “held” in experience; they are transparent and not as solid/real as they did on the way up. The borders between “in here” and “out there” become blurred and disappear.

Along this path of openings and awakenings arise the Mahavidyas, setting the inner void ablaze with intuitive arisings and wisdom. They reveal themselves as the inner essence of time, vibration, space, silence, wisdom, compassion, oneness, dissolution, eternity, and beauty. Each of these powerful forms of Shakti is a complete path, leading to Shiva and back into Herself; each will bring the sadhaka to his/her knees in awe and surrender.

Srividya Sadhana -Confluence of Tantra, Yoga and Vedanta

by Dr.Kavitha (USA)

The path of sadhana is always mysterious, twisting and turning in proportion to our surrender and the always-present element of Divine Grace. How I was led to Sri Vidya Sadhana is one such mysterious tale. Even though japa and mantra sadhana have long been among my daily practices, tantra had never held much appeal for me, perhaps because it has been so distorted from it’s original teachings, particularly in the West. However, since beginning Sri Vidya Sadhana, the pristine teachings of Tantra have drawn me into their fold to such an extent that what I thought were “my” paths (yoga and Vedanta) have exploded into much greater understanding. Sharing a bit here from my experience..

Earlier this year in deep meditation, I noticed a subtle but definite resistance to dissolving the I-sense. In meditative practices, often my focus remains on this I-sense, that which when traced back to the Source dissolves into samadhi or transcendence. But for several days in a row, I noticed a definite “barrier” that stopped short right at that I-sense, rigid and unyielding. One particular day, this inability to move past the I-sense brought up such frustration and longing that I lay down sobbing. By then, I had had many peak experiences of energy movements, visions, deep insights and ecstatic bliss, but still, there were times when old and nonserving patterns came up in daily life in the form of attachment to “I” and “mine”. As I lay broken and wondering what the use was of such mystical experiences if there wasn’t a meaningful change from within, it was as if a thought was planted in my brain to take up Sri Vidya Sadhana. I had no doubt that this thought was planted by my beloved guru Kriya Babaji, for this is how he has worked to lead me along the path. As I searched for more information that day, I was astonished to see that this great practice could be obtained through deeksha in the lineage of Kriya Babaji, further strengthening the knowledge that surely it was His wish. Shortly thereafter, I was initiated into Sri Vidya by Sri Premanandaji, and in the short time since then, it has been transforming my life and everything I thought I knew.

Shiva represents consciousness. By himself, Shiva is inert. Shakti is creation; She provides movement and dynamism to Shiva. Neither can create without the other; thus, Shiva is often depicted as Ardhanariswara – half Shiva and half Shakti. Shiva is the “nothing” while Shakti is the “everything” – yet, the nothing and the everything exist simultaneously, inexorably entwined. Yoga is the path of Shiva, starting with the viewpoint that Shiva and Shakti become as though separated in the process of creation. The purpose of yoga is to bring them back together (yoga = to join). Tantra is the path of Shakti, starting with the viewpoint that Shiva and Shakti exist together, and that the most effective way to experience Shiva is through Shakti in her infinite manifestations (tantra; tanoti = expansion, trayoti = liberation).  While the yogi renunciates in order to know Shiva, the tantric embraces the totality of life experiences knowing them to be Shakti, the Divine Mother Herself. Not one aspect of life is shunned away from – everything from the subtlest to the grossest experience that arises is seen to be the Divine Mother. The traditional practice of tantra lies in the effective use of mantra (name) and yantra (form) to know the nameless and formless Brahman. While Advaita Vedanta sees all of creation to be an illusion, the tantrik (from the point of view of the embodied jiva) sees creation to be very much real, a play of the Divine Mother on the fabric of immutable consciousness that is the Divine Father. Shakti is simultaneously seen as being benign and beautiful as well as ferocious and terrible – there is no aspect of creation that it is not Her. Tantra teaches one to see Her beauty and to love Her in Her infinite forms no matter how depraved or heinous. By expanding the limited mind beyond the dualities of good/bad, beautiful/ugly, right/wrong, like/dislike, the tantric arrives at the same place as the adept yogi or the Vedantin – Oneness; seeing that Brahman is the nondual reality, in and through the mirage of duality.

While the energy and peak experiences that come with a practice like Sri Vidya Sadhana are numerous, the real fruit of an effective sadhana is what happens in day-to-day life. Gradually, the distinction between “mundane” and “spiritual” falls away – there is no aspect of life that is not spiritual be it working, playing, sleeping, praying or meditating. The effects continue to grow and expand daily, beginning with surrender. While bhakti has been a strong element in my sadhana, the type of surrender that Shakti demands and gets is in a league of its own. The more I become drawn in to Her, the more childlike I feel myself becoming, relying on Her for everything. As a young child feels, there is a constant longing for communion with Her, to sit in Her cosmic lap and be schooled by Her. There is the strong impulse to give up everything to Her as an offering – my body in fasting, my breath in pranayama, my limitations, pain and selfish desires as incense, my deep-rooted vasanas (samskaras) as flowers. Nothing can remain as “mine”, not even the sadhana itself. There is an intense growing need to burn in the inner ritual fire of bhakti and austerity, to let it hone and chisel my being as it will and leave behind nothing but the Divine spanda of love, the essence of all creation. What happens with such longing and surrender is that there is increasing acceptance of everything to be Her Grace, be it external such as a routine situation (like a traffic jam when already running late) or internal, within the mind/emotion (like an old unforgiven hurt that surfaces to cause anger or pain). The Divine Mother is so compassionate that all I need to do is ask, and She gives more than I ask for. I ask for clarity to look at my limitations, and She grants it along with compassion for myself and others so I may understand that such limitations are universal and so I may behave with tolerance toward everyone. I ask for Her love and She shows me in a thousand different ways every day that love shines bright all around me. I ask for courage, strength, wisdom.. and it is done, showing up in unexpected ways. Most of all, I beg Her for knowledge of Brahman, and She points me to myself, again and again.

 As someone that adores the clean logic of Vedanta, the austerities of Yoga and the esoteric inner rituals of Tantra, Sri Vidya Sadhana is the practice that beckons to me, probably picked up from a distant lifetime and guided by the benevolent guru – in the growing understanding of the dynamism of the Sri Yantra, there is an intuitive seeing of the Bindu that remains still in and through all of creation that is in constant motion. This experiential seeing, a gift of Divine Grace, chips away the veil of separateness and expands one into fulfilling the destiny of evolution – to realize first-hand the divinity within[/expand]

My Journey to Sri Vidya Sadhana – The Experience 

                            -by Sushil (Canada)                                                                                                            

12 years ago, my Gurudev Paramhamsha Shri Akhandananda Saraswati told me, “At times when I cannot teach you directly, I have to do it through other Gurus, or even your spouse. So, just listen to your heart clearly and observe every situation. I will always be there educating you. But you have to be clear in your heart and mind otherwise you will be deceiving yourself.”

What is a Sadhana?

I would say that it is learning. Learning about yourself (Atma-sadhana), and Sri Vidya is all about climbing those nine ladders (Avaranas) to reach to the top of the Meru to get the “Ultimate Vidya”; the ultimate truth and that is all what we need to know and that is why we are all here in this universe taking re-birth after re-birth to know the ultimate truth. Close all your gaps and merge within the Universe.

On Guru

First of all, I would like to stress the importance of Guru in any Sadhana. Without guru’s grace there is no darshan of Sri devi and no use of mantra and meditation. Therefore, to know the truth of Guru and respecting that truth is of utmost importance before beginning any sadhana, and that is what leads to success.

“Guru” is not a physical stature, but is a consciousness. He is the Brahman. As stated in “Guru Gita”, Lord Shiva initiates Devi Parvati on the principle knowledge of “Guru”. The syllable gu is darkness, and the syllable ru is said to be light. The first syllable “Gu” represents the principles such as maya, and the second syllable “Ru” the supreme knowledge that destroys the illusion of maya.

  Let us realize the mantra, “Ham Sah…..Ham Sah….”

Here, “ha” represents Shiva or intelligence (consciousness) & “sah” represents Shakti or energy and “m” between ha and the sah represents jeeva or the individual, who is the contact point of energy and intelligence. The purpose of chanting this mantra is to win the Supreme Guru’s grace.

 There is no doubt that the Guru is indeed the supreme knowledge that swallows (the darkness of) ignorance. Guru Paduka states:

 Ananta-samsara-samudra-tara

Naukayitabhyam sthirabhaktidabhyam,

Jadyabdhi-samśosana-vāadavāabhyāam

Namo namah śrīgurupāadukāabhyah

 “Salutations again and again to Guru’s sandals, which are a boat to cross the endless ocean of the world, which bestow steadfast devotion, and which are a raging fire to dry the ocean of (spiritual) insensitivity.”

So, the ultimate truth is that, ‘The Guru’ is nothing else but consciousness, eternal, peaceful, beyond space and stainless. He is beyond ‘naada-bindu-kalaa’. Let us all now bow to that Guru.

On Sri Vidya

The Universe is made of two principles, Shiva and Shakti. Shiva is existence and Shakti is the awareness. When these two unite, the union forms a state of “Ananda”. “Sat Chit Ananda – the Bliss” is what we call. If we look at the Sri Chakra, the 3 triangles at the top center are ‘Sat, Chit and Ananda.’

 “Anandam, anandam, anandam,

Sat Chit Anandam”

 We used to sing the above mantra along with our Gurudev for so many hours; and with ignorance, I used to get bored sometimes just singing these words not knowing the real depth of what Gurudev was trying to say.

“Sat Chit Ananda”, is the true point of happiness that we are really looking for and this is why we came to this earth. But, we die without know these three simple words and come back again in the next life to know the same thing and it has been 84 lakh births but, we still have not understood, where to find this state of happiness. This is what, I call a “Sri Vidya Sadhana.”

Here, I just want to highlight another simple thought behind the Shakti principle. But, as seen this simple principle is actually the “Das Mahavidya.” Kali, Laxmi & Saraswati – our 3 mothers & the 3 mantras of divine mothers i.e. “Aim Hreem Shreem.”

There are three Shakti that we know of:

Kriya Shakti (Kali), Jnana Shakti (Laxmi) and Iccha Shakti (Saraswati)

The source of all of these shakti is the divine mother Lalita, who is Sri Vidya. So, to know her we need to know the above 3 principles of Shakti, Ma Kali, Ma Laxmi & Ma Saraswati.

I remember doing 3 days sadhana only chanting “Aim Hreem Shreem”. It was during Navartri 2002, Saptami, Astami & Navami. With our Guru’s grace; we were very fortunate to have a divya darshan of 3 devis on Navami day, chanting these mantras.

The first mother, we know when we were still in our mother’s womb is Kali, in the mooladhar chakra, the Kundalini Shakti which is the source of Energy (Kriya). So, mother Kali protects us till nine months in the womb, and then when we come out of the womb, mother Laxmi takes the responsibility of protecting us and we get her protection in the form of our mother’s breast milk. When, we reach 2 and quarter year (27 months), we now don’t want to get the nourishment in the form of breast milk, and even mother is not able to provide it, then mother Saraswati takes the charge of protecting us and that is the time when we start to speak and she is the mother of knowledge, as we start to speak and learn. This continues till we are 7 years.

I will elaborate more on this in my next journey, but I just wanted to make everyone reading this article aware of the very simple Shakti principle. My thought and experience is, if we are conscious of this principle, we can easily awaken our Kundalini Shakti.

Mantra & Meditation – My Experience on Connecting to the Divinity

Let me start my journey from here then!

I will share my personal experience till now. I have been chanting the mantras & doing sadhanas after initiation from the past 12 years. I actually have a set process & a set discipline of doing puja, mantra chanting, meditation and sadhanas. My understanding on Mantra is that each syllable creates a sonic energy patterns and chanting of specific combination of mantras creates a Kinetic Energy (KE = ½ mv^2), and it connects to the mantra deity & when it resonates with this divine energy, effects are seen as per the karma of an individual.

Mantra Chanting is actually the process of cleansing & refining our “inner self.”  It allows us to awaken the hidden divinity within ourselves and inculcate divine virtues by simultaneously meditating over them. But remember to surrender before the divinity. This is what I call, ‘bali or the sacrifice.’ Until and unless we sacrifice our egos, we will not be able to gain any benefits as stated in the vedas & puranas.

This is also what I call a “Sankalpa”, as my thinking is ‘sankalpa’ means to give & not to take, as we offer everything that we have to Divine Mother Lalita; which is all our negativity by the way. Only then, I would be able to receive her blessings. Otherwise, our body is already full of ego, jealousy, negative karma etc., and there is no space for any positive vibration, then mother cannot give us anything as there is no space left. It is just like a bucket full of water and once it is full, there is no space. In order to fill it up again, we need to empty the bucket first.

I always start with Ganesha Prarthana, & Guru Prarthana; then I have a set of process and sadhanas that I do every day. I have set 2 hours minimum a day to do the sadhanas. I feel different energy patterns with different mantras that I chant. I have many experiences to share, which I would slowly in my further editions. Today, I will share the experience during my Bala Tripura Sundari Sadhana. I would like also to pick a date, 30th July 2013.

First of all, I offered a small prayer to devi Lalita,

“I bow to the goddess made of mantra, who consists of the 51 Ganeshas, the nine planets, the 27 constellations, the six Yoginis, the 12 signs of the Zodiac and the 51 letters of the alphabet and sacred sites.”

I then completed chanting ‘Lalita Sahashranaam.’

As per Gurudev Premananda’s permission, I started chanting the ‘Maha Pratyangira Devi Kavach.’  As soon as I started reading line no. 1, a huge heavy bulk of ‘energy’ came to me, and as I went on to read the second line, my voice suddenly became rough and became very loud.  I could not control it. I immediately realized that Shri Maha Pratyangira devi is here. So, I paused reciting and, I offered my Namaskar to all my Gurus, my paramgurus, Ganesha, Shiva and then Lalita devi right at the top of the Maha Meru Chakra.

I then thanked Pratyangira devi, for coming to bless me and I continued to recite her kavacha. My head was extremely heavy; my voice was extremely ‘Manly,’ rough and loud till I finished the kavacha. I have felt lot of divine energies of Kali, Durga, Bagalamukhi a number of times during these many years, but this energy was completely different, a very strong, very lively and actually frightening, if it was completely new to me. I was like dehydrated, could not even speak by the time I finished reciting. But, I didn’t want to stop here though, as I knew she would not have liked that.

Again, when I started reading her mantras, it was just full of energy; my voice and hands were completely out of my control. I was virtually pointing to all of them who had previously done injustice to us. I was just happy that Mother Pratyangira immediately came to let me know that she is there always whenever I need her. It is just a matter of true & pure devotion.

Then, I started my Baglamukhi sadhana which I do always, and as soon as I started chanting the beej mantra “Hlreem”, it was not actually me who was chanting. I just kept chanting the mantra so-so fast “Hlreem, hlreem, hlreem, hlreem…….;” my whole body started vibrating like anything and suddenly I realized I was dancing.

The dancing kept on as I started chanting “Kshum Duum, kshum duum, kshum duum……..” and she was ‘Devi Shoolini Durga’………which is my third sadhana that I do every day.

I cannot explain the pleasure of the next sadhana that night of Shri Bala Tripura sundari……….So; here I just wanted to share something great that I got to experience that night and beyond.

Shri Bala is a pure, divine, childish energy, and she loves to play. The main principle behind Devi Lalita’s manifestation as a child in the form of Shri Bala is only to bless us – the sadhakas & give us everything we desire.

One thing, we have to keep in mind while doing her sadhana is to invoke Lord Ganapati. The Bala Ganapati, ganesha in the form of a child and Shri Bala Tripura Sundari mantras that I invoked, when chanted with pure dedication will create magic. The real philosophy here for all of us to actually understand, is to come with a pure heart and pray Shri Bala as she would grant all our wishes, which a mature form of Devi, Shri Lalita Tripura Sundari would probably think before granting us the boon; because she is the mother of entire beings and she would only grant after probably getting assured of every calculations she as a mother would do.  

I would like to urge everyone to continue doing there sadhana without any expectations of any preferable outcomes as normally she would test us putting in a difficult situation to check our reaction. Just meditate on her, pray to her and surrender to her. It is definitely worth your life.

I would like to thank Gurudev and also request for the continued blessings with Sri devi Vidya.

At the end, I would just like to pray mother Lalita to forgive me for everything with the lines below of Adi Sankaracharya……..

“na mantram no yantram tadapi cha na jaane stuti-maho

na chaa-hvaanam dhyaanam tadapi cha na jaane stuti-kathaah |

na jaane mudraaste tadapi cha na jaane vilapanam

param jaane maatas-tvada-nusaraëam klesha-haraëam”

 

“na mokñha-syaa-kaankñhaa bhava-vibhava-vaan-chhaapi cha na me

na vigyaanaa-pekñhaa shashi-mukhi sukhech-chhaapi na punaha |

atastvaam sanyaache janani jananam yaatu mama vai

mriòaanee rudraaëee shiva-shiva bhavaaneeti japataha ||”

Shri Matre Namaha!

Revelation of Inner Meaning of Shree Mathre Mantra : AUM AIM HREEM SREEM SHRI MATHRE NAMAHA

 by Naresh (India)

Note: The below is my personal understanding of the above mantra.  The seekers of truth are requested to be open and go further deep to realize the absolute truth and share the new insights with all for the welfare of the universe.

Revelation:

Beyond the beginning and the end states, there existed only Infinite Ocean of existence which is eternal (Sat) with full of awareness and intelligence (sentient – chit) and its nature of completely blissful (Ananda).  

To understand this better, Ocean is eternal existence (Sat), Ananda is the water in the ocean and Chit is the states of water in the ocean as waves (manifestation) on the surface and still state in deep under ocean (beyond manifestation).

From this Chit aroused infinite dimensions of manifestations including void. Many of these manifestations came from the absolute state and merged back into this state just like the waves in the ocean.  This existence is so subtle that any manifested wave or particle cannot comprehend its depth. This is very much similar like describing the state of deep sleep in the wakeful state.  

To understand better of Chit’s Manifestation states, the below grid has been provided.

Dimensions (existence)/

(Time)

Manifested

Un manifested

Unknown Existence

Permanent

Temporary

The Vedas declare that the first word that emerged from Brahman is AUM.  I tried to dive deep into this truth and taking clue from Sanskrit alphabet pattern the following realization emerged.

From this infinite Chit of existence represented as Shiva (the static) and its Shakti (the dynamic), came out the first basic sound particle as “A” (externalize manifestation as Shiva) and “AA” which is its shakti Aspect. For better understanding purpose I am not considering the shakti aspect in further explanation. Note Shiva and shakti are inseparable like fire and heat.

When ‘A’ arose there was a force to pull back this A to its original State, this force made the basic sound   ‘E/I’. If E was able to pull back the A sound then the particle would have returned back to its original state of existence. However this did not take place because the Origin refused the A particle creating a great centrifugal force with basic sound U. This U is described in Upanishads as Udgitha.

Thus three basic vowels A, E, U emerged from the ocean of existence.

Due to state of instability of sound Particle “A” in between E, U sounds there emerged two forces the pull/resistance of centripetal and the push/conductivity of Centrifugal forces represented as basic sounds Rr (dwesha) and Lr (Ragha).  

Due to refusal of A by Origin, A merged with U to form the first compound sound AUM.  M represents the resonance/vibration and thus creation of first element space/Nada. To counter and balance the Aum word, the next compound that came out was the Aim beeja. 

Due to mergence of A and U came O. From the Inward force of O came Am and its outward force /resistance came Aha (visarga). The combination of O and Am formed SO beeja and from the visarga came Ham beeja.

Due to interaction of centripetal Aim and centrifugal forces Aum (push – raga and pull -dwesha forces) around ‘A’ came the rotation motion leading to creation of the trigunas namely Satwa, Rajas and Tamas impacting So, Ham and creating a sinusoidal wave with +, Neutral, – charge.

We can say that due to resistance (Dwesha) and conductivity (Raagha) influence on the electricity AUM, created a wave of three states (trigunas) upward state of wave , neutral state and bottomward state of wave.  Upward wave represented as Ham and downward wave as So. And Neutral state as Au or O or Sauh. From this So Ham emerged the Air element. The prana Shakti of Aum Prana.

This So Ham reflects at two levels in AUM consciousness 1) Universal consciousness: United oriented divine consciousness represented by So  and 2) Divergent individual consciousness as Hum. Therefore the life breath So Ham (also represents vayu /air element) forms the bridge between the universal and individual consciousness.  

When the AUM with So Ham oscillation moved in Aim (prana cable/conductor),  the  resistance (Ram) in the conductor “Aim”  generated the heat, thus aroused the fire element. And the forward movement of So Ham in the conductor “Aim” created the water element. The resistance Rr merged with outward  flowing Ham to form Hreem , the protective sheath over Aim (cable sheath over conductor) representing  the Earth element. By the way Hreem is Bhuvaneshari Beeja representing the Earth.

The resistance Rr merged with inward flowing So to form Sreem the inward conductivity of Aim Conductor (determine the inner property of Aim). The Rr when merged with neutral state of SoHam i.e. (Sauh) came the beeja Shreem.  This shreem became nucleus, sreem the protons and hreem the electrons.  Thus Shreem became the nucleus of creation of elements hence it is also known as  Mathre or Mother of matter elements. 

This Shree formed by Aum Aim Hreem Sreem is the mother of all manifesting elements, compounds of divergent universe in Micro/Atomic (Na Ma-Ha:= Not great/Micro) level. This is atomic knowledge of Shree is known as Sri vidhya.

I feel that this might be the insight of the great Maharishis to reveal this great Srividhya mantra Aum Aim Hreem Sreem  Shri Mathre Namaha.

As Scriptures say that what is there in micro is there in macro. Taking clue from this statement we can conclude that This shri vidhya when looked at macrocosmic form (Ma-Ha) it is called as Brahma vidhya.

Sri Vidya and Dhumavati Sadhana – Unravel the Mystery!

      -by Sushil (Canada)            

“Om Paramtatvaya Narayanaya Gurubhyo Namaha”

Once my Gurudev shared with us a mysterious story of Dhoomavati and Baglamukhi sadhana, that how he could not get his Baglamukhi sadhana as accomplished until my paramguru Kailash revealed him of a Dhoomavati mystery. That mantra is extremely powerful for a normal sadhaka and should be only practiced under a qualified Guru’s supervision. Dhoomavati manta is, as stated, 100 times more powerful than Baglamukhi mantra. So if we can combine those two mahashaktis together anyone can guess the outcome! Request your guru for the mantra, do not start reading from text or from other source as it can be lethal.

Guru is always necessary to open the gate, to channel the energy via the sound and the frequencies created by the sound which is sometimes uncontrolled, very powerful & dangerous because of our thought process. The vibration created by the mantras will combine with your thoughts actually to bring the manifestation. So controlled and positive thinking being relaxed is necessary during mantra sadhana.

So who is Dhoomavati?

I can only share my knowledge and experience which is very much limited but practical. “Dhoom” means smoke and so is goddess dhoomavati described normally as a smoky shakti. She also breathes smoke. She is 7th of the 10 Mahavidyas. She is very uncommon and is portrayed as an ugly faced eternal widow, old, and also called Alakshmi; it is because she does not have the radiance of Lakshmi. But this is just an outer perspective of what we actually see from outside which is not 100% truth. There is also a Black crow along with her which symbolizes the black magic & the dark evil forces.

I will ask everyone to be with me for some time as we all take a little dive and look at this perspective try to analyze this supreme vidya.

Dhoomavati is depicted as old & terrifying elderly because she represents the first and the foremost state even before the entire creation and hence called Jyestha and Laxmi being younger is called Kanistha. So until and unless, you perform a Dhoomavati sadhana, there is no way we get a blessing from Laxmi as this is not possible. During the devshayani ekadashi, Vishnu as the chief administrator of this universe goes to rest then; Maa dhoomavati takes control over everything for those 4 months. If we can please her within these 4 months with rigorous sadhana, then what else do we need to achieve!

If we just look back to mythology, Maharishi Durvasa as he was part of Shiva, used to test the characteristics and reaction of those in front of him at that particular moment and immediately curse as per the influence of Dhoomavati as she controls this department of anger.

Dhoomavati also rules the Jyestha Nakshatra in astrology. If we see here from vedic astrology also, people born on Jyestha naksthara, command respect from people around and are generally rash & impulsive with hot temper & are obstinate to some extent. Dhoomavati since she represents our core values and principles being elderly; and is completely not childish in nature. She is mature and loves those who are motivated, supports those who work really hard to achieve the goal of life – a complete siddhi, whether it is spiritual or material.

If we just look back to mythology, Maharishi Durvasa who use to test the characteristics and reaction at that particular moment and immediately curse as per the influence of Dhoomavati as she controls this department of anger.

Dhoomavati is situated at our Mooladhara chakra. Mooladhar chakra: its main aspect is the innocence, and that is where the source of energy comes from in our body. She will bless us with the power to fight against all diseases, all stresses, and all our unfulfilled desires, as Dhoomavati is also called a goddess of unfulfilled desires, so with her energy and blessing we can fulfill all our wishes as she is also a source of our desires. In an uncontrolled aspect, she is our ego, our anger, frustration and the power or the thought of cursing, as she holds the department of curses.

To appease Dhoomavati or other mahavidyas is really a challenging part. Who knows how many birth it takes for us to at least know or even get a glimpse of these 10 mahavidyas, but my main point here is towards the learning. We should always learn from past mistakes as she will reveal us all our imperfectness, humiliation, losses, loneliness, disappointment and sorrows and that is the only ugly part tantra is revealing us. Let us all learn from our mistakes and take positive steps not to repeat them, this is the real wisdom and way we can please mahavidyas specially dhoomavati.

I will also just touch on her depiction as a widow here, once we reach the ultimate state there is nothing left for us to desire. Desire is a lust and lust is actually charming, so when we reach at the top of the Meru, we will have no desire other than to merge with Shiva and Shakti and there is no worldly lust who is Mohini and when there is no mohini there is no outer charm as well. Inner beauty is what we have to seek out as physical and outer glory is just transient and an illusion only. This is the principle knowledge or the Srividya, I know of.

Experience:

As I have described in my previous writing that to reach the Meru, there are steps to perform and we cannot reach unless we start from the bottom. So, start from Ganesha & Dhoomavati as they reside in the mooladhar. Get their blessings as ganesha is the obstacle breaker and Dhoomavati is the ultimate giver, nothing can stop us.

Many of us are in a belief that Dhoomavati should not be worshipped at home and specially ladies should not worship her as she is the depiction of widowhood. I can be wrong as my knowledge is very limited, but my guru never restricted me to do the dhoomavati or any other ugra vidya sadhana at home. I believe, we should never be afraid to approach ugra devis if our intention is good and not to harm others as I stated earlier, our mind is very powerful, so always ask your Guru before starting anything.

My experience is, as soon as I chant “Dhoom” there is a force that I feel like someone is walking; “Dhoom, dhoom, dhoom……..”

As she teaches us to become a warrior, a sound will appear and when I go on chanting Panchadashi mantra along with the 51 lettered Shiva mantra, I would have gone past the Stargate and time travelling to some holy place, where my guru is resting quietly and smiling at me. I cannot explain the feeling now, but I will disclose that you will not be yourself when you experience these energies. Once it comes, it stays with you so, channel these energies properly for the welfare of your family and for the humanity if you will.

Please request your guru for the mantra, do not start reading from text or from other source as it can be lethal.”                                                       

The Revelation of Panchadasi Mantra by Divine Mother – Shri Lalitha Tripura Sundari       

  By Naresh(India)

With the blessings of divinity, I got initiated into Sri Vidhya Sadhana by Shri Prem anandji.  During my deeksha, I had vision of Shiva Lingam and experienced a very deep sense of peace which cannot be expressed by words.  The change of personality was clearly noticed by my friends. I felt I was more grounded and many of my internal obstacles were gradually easing out.  In fact, I would like to express my gratitude to Shri Premanandaji for his great help of connecting me to Divine Mother.

I am one who believes that any system which does not transform a person to be a better person then it is not worthwhile having it. This Srividhya deeksha has proven its worth to me.

Encouraged by these changes, few days back, I browsing the srividhya sadhana website to know more about the sadhana and had come across the description of Panchadasi mantra. To be very frank and with due respect, I was not able to understand the inner meaning of this mantra, so I sought the help of Divine Mother with love (just like the small innocent child asks his mother) to reveal the secret of this mantra in a manner that I could easily understand it.  Few days after this event, sometime in the afternoon of Oct’1, 2013, I had vision of Divine Mother Lalitha Tripurasundari (Mother appeared in Rose pink aura in a misty cloud) for few seconds and then she disappeared.

On Thursday morning of Oct’3’2013, I suddenly felt an inflow of divine knowledge from deep inside, which started revealing me the secrets of Panchadasi Mantra. Considering this intuitive knowledge as divine prasadam from Divine Mother which I would like to share with all of you and hope that you would enjoy it and be benefitted by this explanation.

First Line of Panchadasi mantra: Ka E I La Hreem

Ka represents Kundalini shakti

E – Pingala Shakti

I – Ida Shakti 

La – Desire to enjoy (the mooladhara of all beings) 

Hreem : It is Beeja mantra of Bhuvaneshwari – Bhuvana means palace or House or Earth. Spiritually it means the energy that keeps the structure of the body

So the first line states that kundalini takes residence at the mooladhara chakra of the body. It activates and maintains the ida and pingala nadis.(simile : 9 months in mother’s womb)

Second Line: Ha Sa Ka Ha La Hreem

Ha – Outgoing breath

Sa – Incoming breath

Ka – Kundalini

Ha – Individual consciousness

La – Desire to enjoy (Mooladhara of all beings) 

Hreem: Energy that sustains the Body

The second line reveals the state of child birth, here Kundalini starts the breathing process with Ha and Sa  beeja mantras and awakens the individual consciousness (second Ha) and then it goes to sleep to start the hide aspect of hide and seek game. It creates the illusionary worlds for experiencing the desire to enjoy.

In this game of hide and seek of Shri Lalitha, Soul hides from its original state (OM) and forgets its reality due to the constant flux of Ha and Sa vibration and experiences himself as an separate individual.

Third line: Sa Ka La Hreem

Sa – Seeking the real I

Ka – Kundalini

La – Desire to enjoy (Mooladhara of all beings) 

Hreem: Energy that sustains the Body

The third line reveals the life of the soul in this world, who would like to return back to its original state, this is just like the child who wishes to return back to his Mother after tired of playing distracting games. This return journey of Self that I am not this, not this but “I am that I am” starts when the grace of divine mother kundalini activates at mooladhara under the guidance of Sat Guru.

Another interpretation of the panchadasi mantra could be first internally activate and remove blocks in ida and pingala nadis by purifying and balancing them with the help of breath (Ha, Sa). By doing this both the manifested goals of the individual consciousness (Ha – La) and Spiritual goals of divine consciousness (Sa – Ka – La) can be achieved.

 “Srividhya sadhana – a gateway to the soul”

by Kalyani (India)

With the blessings of my Parents, Guru, Lord Shiva and Shakthi, I would like to share my experiences with Srividhya Sadhana.

I came into this path when I happened to know about Siva Yoga’s website through my friends. Then, under the continuous guidance and blessings of Sri Premananda, I was able to learn Siva Yoga and continue the practice from then on.

Suddenly, one day I felt strong emotions at the solar plexus area (due to stress). It is just like on the surface…I want to cry out I couldn’t control my tears…. It is just flowing when I think something… this happened when I was reaching home from office, that is, while travelling…I could not tolerate people who do injustice..I am almost tired of living this life. Then, I sought the help of Sri Premananda to get out of this situation. He then gave me Navakkari Mantra initiation to help me on my journey in this earth. It is a very special gift from Thirumoolarji.

After I got initiated, I was practicing this Navakkari mantra (balancing the nine planets). My entire life has changed since then and more importantly I was able to get out of the situation I mentioned above. People and things seemed to favour me, which helped me to sustain and continue with my life on this earth, without which I am nothing now. It helped me a lot for which I do not have words to explain.

The nature of this world is like a wave. Always ups and downs will be there. We need to learn to lift ourselves during these tough times. We need to learn to focus on the positive side of us, people and world. Remember, your karma, beliefs and feeling attracts the people around you. Be compassionate to the normal people as they are doing it ignorantly.

Later, I faced a different kind of experience during night. While sleeping, air suddenly rushed into me forcefully. Then the following morning, I was not able to get from the bed. I felt someone sleeping over me holding me tightly. So I tried to overcome that force to relieve myself. That time I saw a white face sleeping over me. Then I chanted “Om Namasivaya” to get out of the trap. I was able to chant only once. Then that face with no hairs on its head left me. Then I was able to get up and do things normally. But I felt the heaviness and burning sensation in my chest for some time. Sri Premananda advised me to use the protection shield and infuse with Divine mother’s mantra  – Om Hreem Om, Navakkari Mantra and the 51 letter mantra of Sivayoga. I thank Divine mother for giving me such a protection from all forms of dangers and attacks. With this protection shield, I don’t face any of these problems now and my life is going peacefully.

 I would like to share some points that I learnt and experienced, which would help in our spiritual evolution.

  1. All negative incidents were pre-decided to learn. Learn that even in that negative incident ‘I can give love’. Incidents can be changed but it will change when you say ‘I have learnt a lesson.’

  2. Never pass judgment nor hold resentment on anyone you come across.

  3. Do not curse anyone for anything. Giving more blessings will create more blessings for the self.

  4. To live in harmony, do not command, do not comment and do not demand.

  5. Let your daily agenda for everyday be to give as love to as many beings as possible; not only family members but other people, animals, plants, etc.

  6. Purify the mind (anger, revenge, resentment, ego, etc) first and all unresolved issues. Until this is not purified the soul is not clean.

  7. Srividhya is the highest sadhana for eliminating sanchit karmas.

  8. You were not born to suffer but you were born to work out (release) your karmas.

  9. Take a deep breath, light a lamp and invoke the guru and you will notice it burning differently.

  10. When shaktipath is done, it is upon the individual how he takes it. Do not suppress your emotions, let go, but at the same time don’t lose control over the emotions. Don’t encourage those emotions to overtake.

  11. If you are persistent in your sadhana and in burning your negative karmas then a day will come when everything suddenly opens up and your path will be clear and quicker. Sometimes people quit when there are just very close to the goal.

 Overall, we need to do more and more sadhana to know the answers for all our questions, including who we are and why we are here.

Srividhya Sadhana – Experience of the Divinity

 by Puneet (India)

I have interest in exploring spirituality and so I started searching for a true Guru who would give the path for both spiritualization and materialization. I had been to many places and read a lot of books, the one that appealed to me the most was “A Search in Secret India” by Paul Brunton. I have read this book many times since I was 16 years and each time I finished reading it gave me a different kind of enlightenment. One thing that was very clear was that it was only by fate that you get a true Guru as Paul had got his Guru Ramanarishi.

I started searching for online Deeksha as this was the most convenient form of sadhana that I could do if a Guru who would be willing to do so. I found only one reference that was srividhyasadhana.com. This is how I found Acharya Premanandaji and my life has completely changed after he gracefully accepted to give Deeksha. Srividhya sadhana requires a discipline by following this discipline the bad karmas do not come into the aura of our bodies. This I have practically seen happening as I know astrology and found some of the events that were to happen were almost nullified and dissolved due to regular sadhana. This sadhana is the best way to communicate with the Divine mother Maa Lalithaambika Rajarajeshwari MahaTripurasundari.

 Each Sadhak has unique experience based on what progress they have made in the past lives but the journey is wonderful. I felt this very truly when Guruji gave Deeksha at the designated time saw various spiritual energy light forms and the Golden pink energy envelope my body and soul and was feeling blessed. This was a unique experience and the bliss experienced was so great that I could not open my eyes for at least 1-1/2 hours after the Deeksha and was completely drenched in the wonderful energy.

 Immediately after Deeksha as I started Level 1 meditation Kundalini cleansing started taking its affect. To understand this one must remember the Ksheer Samudra Manthana process that Lord Vishnu had done. First what came out was Poison and Lord Siva had to drink it and was called Neelkhantha. This was Tamsic aspect, then came out 14 Gems including Goddess Lakshmi which is the Rajsik aspect and then the Amrit the Satvik aspect. So also with Kundalini Jagaran when a Siddha Guru does this to a disciple then the first thing that would come out is the pent up emotions and such aspects which have been giving negative emotions inside you and to people around you. The affect you can see is with your life partner and people around you as they reflect what you have given to them over the years. You may have serious fights. But a true Sadhak should take this as part of the process of Kundalini cleansing. Once you go past this difficult phase of Tamsik rising you would get to the next blissful phase of Rajsik rising where you may experience sudden wealth or wishes being fulfilled very soon. One must not stop here and should continue Sadhana as this is the stage where you may gain Siddhis and you may get distracted by them. As Guruji says we must enjoy them but not get entangled in them only then the 3rd Satvik stage can be reached.

 Some of my experiences are given below:

 Appearance of Divine Mother in dream. Initially I was worried if Lalitha Ambika Maa would come to me in Havan which I used to do daily during Level 1 Sadhana. She came in my dream, and said if you call me with joy I will surely come. I did not know her Avahan or invocation mantra so I called her name and asked her three times to come in the Havan and bless us. After this I started chanting her name 108 times on a rudraksha mala. In between me and my wife got to smell such sweet fragrance from the havan that we went around the windows and doors to see where it was coming from but it was surely coming from the Havan kund and we felt blessed. Divine Mother is so kind and so great Lalitha Ambika Maa takes care of her devotees always and does not leave them in any circumstances whatsoever. She is the true Divine Mother Devi Maa.

 Maa appeared during meditation once with her big graceful beautiful eyes. Now I know why they call her Meena Lochani.

 This Sadhana is so potent and powerful that the experiences which we used to have during Havan have started happening every day during Sadhana. Srividhya Sadhana is really the best method in Kaliyug to get both Materialization along with Spiritualization.

 Balatripurasundari Maa arrives and protects. During Sadhana Balatripurasundari Maa is so kind and divine and so graceful that she is indescribable. She is playful sometimes she is very caring of her devotees. Devi Maa Balatripurasundari appeared on the Shahsrara chakra and sat there on the Lotus and smiled one day. I requested her to come into my life and be with me. Every day I go to office in my vehicle but this has never happened to me, on the same day a young girl of about 10 years asked for stopping my vehicle for a lift. I immediately obliged and she came in. A sweet smell filled the vehicle immediately. I understood this is a divine being. After about a kilometer she asked me to stop and came out of the vehicle. I have a photo of Maa in the altar and in the night there was a thud sound and we immediately could smell the very sweet fragrance which we had smelled in the havan inside the meditation room. She is so kind and caring she fulfills the desires of her devotees.

 Guruji’s workshop is an experience which our family cannot forget. The presence of Siddha Guru Acharya Premanadaji ensured Divine Mother’s presence. The methods given in the workshop are so effective that we are able to utilize them in our everyday life and reap the benefits of Siddha Healing.

I have healed some of the roads in Bangalore using Siddha Shakti. Somebody living in Bangalore will be familiar with the big potholes around the Whitefield road which used to be there and now suddenly after sending healing to the road and the politicians, the repair work started. This is a very unique application that I found which can be used for Public service. At home siddha healing power we are using to heal sick plants and they are showing signs of revival. Efficacy of Siddha methods lies in their practical application which Guruji stresses during the workshop.

How Divine Mother Teaches Her Children: My Experiences With My Mother

by SIMHA (India)

On one occasion while accompanying my friend to a bookstore, though I don’t like reading books, I accidentally took a book “Raja Yoga” by swami Vivekananda. This book inspired me and I felt an urge to seek the divine. I immediately understood that, the way that suits my attitude and circumstances is yogic way of worship. After that I read lot of spiritual books by divine gurus. One of the most inspiring was “Auto biography of a yogi”. But I did not know how to start, or where to start.

I would like to share little bit about myself. I am an introvert, shy and sceptical guy & I believe only after experimenting. I spend about 8 to 9 hours in office and 2+ hours in travelling from home & office. So it was very difficult for me to find a guru to start my spiritual journey. But I dint lose hope. I was praying to the divine to bless me with a guru or to show me a path which suits my current busy lifestyle. And one day while trying to solve a technical problem at my office, I accidentally came across “Sri Vidya Sadhana” (http://srividyasadhana.com) and I immediately realized that it was no accident & its pure grace of the divine mother. I could not believe it! it exactly suited to my requirement. I felt as if this was specially designed for me.

From my experience and the experiences that I read here, I understood that divine mother teaches the same thing in different ways depending on the attitude and the understanding capacity of the sadhak. I would like to share many such incidents here,

1. Before starting this sadhana (before initiation) I do not know anything about this, and as usual I had lot of faith and also little hesitation somewhere.  Because most people say that you need to be physically present near to the guru. On the day of initiation I felt amazingly great experience and I was 99% satisfied, and remaining 1% I felt something missing, but I was hesitant to convey the same to Guruji. So I replied saying everything was good. But I was really surprised to see Guruji’s mail saying that we need to do it again as there is a little block. We completed it again and am fully satisfied. I understood that this was just how mother wants to teach me on the greatness of the guru. And I found the love of a mother and patience of a teacher in my Guru Premanandji.

2. I had a very good experiencing while doing the sadhana. Divine mother started appearing and I could feel the love and warmth of Divine mother. All my past desires and wishes started realising.

3. Then when the second level started, Lord shiva started appearing and I could clearly feel the difference, when mother appears its like standing near a ocean with big tides and lot of fun & energy. But when Adhi yogi appears it like the sky full of calmness and static. During my free time I go through different mantras and deities and was inspired to worship one of those and during my sadhana, I felt as if Adhi yogi shiva asked me to approach my Guru for clarity. I conveyed the same to my Guru. And Sri Premanandji was so patient and loving, he asked me what I wanted and understood what is best for me. And blessed me with a mantram on “Sri Mahaavathar Babaji ”.

4. I do my regular sadhana in home daily, and also do meditation while travelling between home & office and to my surprise even while I am travelling I am able to concentrate and meditate irrespective of the crowd and road condition. One day while meditating in the bus suddenly  “Jesus” appeared in my aagya chakra. I was surprised and understood that this sadhana is beyond the geographic boundaries and is really a global level sadhana for all mankind irrespective of their religion or other distinctions.      

 5. Most interesting part of my sadhana is during my Bala mother sadhana. During the first week of Bala mother sadhana, I was expecting something and was confirmed to happen in my office. But suddenly it was cancelled. All my colleagues thought I would be very disappointed but I was surprised (actually forgot the meaning of this word, because of so many surprises), to see I am normal not at all disturbed by this news. I continued my sadhana ignoring the things that are happening to me. And at the end of the 6 weeks sadhana, what I thought was cancelled in my office was not cancelled and they are going to have it again. Now I understand when someone says Bala mother is playful.

6. On one occasion, I had to take an exam in my office as part of Organizational initiative. And because of some miss-communication I was informed about it just 8 hours before the exam. I dint have the time to prepare and also do not know what to prepare. I had other commitments so had to go to the exam without even knowing what it is all about. In the exam hall I understood that 60% is the pass mark, so even if I guess, I had to guess 60 out of 100. Everyone in the hall is pretty tensed and are cursing the management and are preparing with lot of material. I was very cool and thought for a moment things like this will happen in life, where we have to take up the challenge unprepared and how to overcome this? Then I started my experiment, I prayed to Bala mother asking her to show me how to handle this situation and this is not about passing but these kind of things often happen in life. So I started taking the exam on faith and not on knowledge / logic. To be very frank I probably know the answers to 2 to 3 questions. And heard of at least 10 questions but don’t know the answer. And the rest, I have never heard about the questions. I answered all of them by mere faith. And again to my (no)surprise I was the only one who passed the exam on that day in my entire organization. This brings us to the point can we have blind faith? “Faith is always blind. Has faith an `eye’? Why say `blind faith’? Either simply say `faith’ or say `Jnana’ ” – Sri RamaKrishna Paramahamsa.

7. My job is to find technical solutions, so I will be dealing with problems all my professional life. Most of the time it’s very difficult to solve them because if its easy it will not come to me. Many a times I had to stretch/struggle in the office. And I found a best way to resolve them, rather than solving it on my own intelligence. If I say this is going to be solved by mother and I am just an instrument in her hand, they will be solved pretty fast. But if I say I (with ego) am going to solve it even the simple thing will take a lot of time.

I believe all these experiences are just the tip of the iceberg and the ultimate goal of this sadhana is self-realisation and god-realisation. So am eagerly waiting for the grace of my Guru and my Mother to dissolve into the divine consciousness and leave no traces of I.

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